not happy

I have been overwhelmed and so tired these past few days. My Nana (Grandma) has been in the hospital for the past five days after only being home for 24 hours from her last hospital visit which was also five days. She is in ICU and very sick. Tonight they are putting A PICC line in, this is by definition and per its acronym, a peripherally inserted central catheter. It is long, slender, small, flexible tube that is inserted into a peripheral vein, typically in the upper arm, and advanced until the catheter tip terminates in a large vein in the chest near the heart to obtain intravenous access. Translation… she isn’t going home anytime soon. She has heart failure, and some other conditions I will not go into but it is so sad to me to see her in this state. Some days she is so bright eyed and like herself I feel like saying “ok let’s get out of here” and then like tonight she was not doing so good and barely looked like the strong matriarch that she is. We have many family members all trying to be with her in her tiny room. I feel so bad for many of the other patients who as I walk down the hall I can’t help but notice have no visitors. But like I said she isn’t herself and we are all very worried about her. She is 87 years old and I just want her to get better. I am the oldest of 7 grandchildren and four great grandchildren. I had her all to myself for seven years. I have really wonderful memories as she took care of me a lot. For many many years her and my grandfather lived above our family business so I spent countless hours with her. I can’t help but be thinking this situation is the reason we moved back home. The just in case anything happens. The should I come home and be with her? This way living in town I have been able to spend many hours with her everyday. And I look forward to when she will be released. Anyway you slice it I am glad I live here and hope she gets better very soon.

This last one is around 1995 pre great grand kids.

Encampment 2012

Camp was fun and exciting and COLD! MD and I roughed it in the woods with the other 11 Girls Scouts.
We were in cabins but the cabins had screens for doors and screens for windows so it was still really cold. But we did have toilets and it was pretty clean and I didn’t see one bug so I would say it was one of the easier camps we’ve done. It was a none stop weekend.
The people that planned the “encampment” were really organized and had everyone on rotations all ending with a fun dance. There were lots of screaming girls, whining moms and plenty of dirt to go around. One of my favorite things they do at encampment is Girl Scout swaps. Here MD is with two of her Dasiy friends proudly wearing their Swaps.

Swaps, for those that don’t know are some sort of (normally homemade) trinket that hangs by a safety pin and the girls swap them. The encampment’s theme was renaissance so there were lots of princess crowns, swords, shields etc but there were other’s that were just girls scout themed or camping themed etc. I like to see how creative everyone is. MD was the only experienced camped so all the parents were really nervous but I think everyone did great.

If you click on the pictures they get bigger. For some reason WordPress isn’t doing what I want and I just don’t have the energy to mess with it anymore tonight…

Now its bed time as we have been on winter holiday for the past three weeks and tomorrow everyone goes back to school and I go back to work. I am not looking forward to this.

By the way… hating on the new phone so far….

Acamping we will go, acamping we will go!!

ok it is time to go Girl Scout camping once again. with a high of 42 at least we are in cabins… pictures and stories to come…

what is wrong with me?

If I had a penny for every time I asked myself that very question….. I had a perfectly great day. We went to the Museum with a group of friends this morning. Had a great time. The kids ran like crazy but the moms weren’t stressed and we all talked and chatted and just laughed away for two hours. There were even kids my kids age and the fact I am “old” was only brought up once. Then we went to visit my grandmother and my dad was there so that was a nice visit. Then we  came home had a heathy lunch, I got some work calls done and did some work on my moms club event calendar. Very productive afternoon but as the time creeped by my head started banging and by 5pm when J gets home I was ready to toss the towel in and order out and offer him beer to go pick it up which he smiled and happily agreed to do.

Now if I had just listen to my body and got up from the computer at 4pm and cooked dinner, actually all I had to do was heat it up as I already have chicken grilled to eat I would be eating a heathy dinner right now. But instead I am feeling awful and not meeting my goals and no closer to making a baby happen for our family in the process. This baby is supposed to be very important to me. I want this baby, I have one minor and one major obstacle in my way. The major one is unless I lose some weight and bring my sugar levels down this baby just isn’t going to happen. What is wrong with me that even with this in mind I can not make good choices? Do I just magically think all will work itself out? I better than anyone know that is not true. I must make what I want to happen, happen and I must make it happen before it’s too late.

I really need to get it together.

 

 

holding pattern

What did you do for New Years? We stayed home …. very exciting! We popped a bottle of sparkling grape juice and cheers-ed our way into the wee hours of the night. The kids lasted much longer then me and that is a sad affair and I totally feel old.

I don’t feel like I have anything new to write about despite the list of “to be blogged” items I have running in my hand written journal. (which I must say I think keeping a hand written journal is a lost art and I love mine). ok so on so many levels our family seems to be on the horizon of new things but just on the tip not yet happening. So many around us are going through life changing events. A few friends are having babies, two are moving, one is losing tons of weight and another just started a new job today. I spent the day making work calls, cleaning out the board game shelf, cleaning out the girl’s bedroom and reorganizing it and posting all our stuff for sale. It crossed my mind I might have been a bit more successful with this if I had done this before Christmas as I have not gotten one nibble and now my office is packed with excess of toys we have decided need to go live somewhere else.

But whatever her bedroom and our game shelf both look so much better. And I suppose my office is an “organized” mess that is on it’s was out the door.

Speaking of handwritten items, the kids spent the afternoon hand writing their Christmas card Thank Yous. I think that is so very important. They are some of the unlucky few to have birthdays so close to the holidays as they just wrote birthday thank yous but alas mom said “to bad” and off they went. Now if only the mail would run one of these days so I could get them off. For some reason our mail carrier didn’t work Thursday, Friday, Saturday or today. I know they are underpaid but come on already!!!

But it’s not just USPS I’m ticked at FedEx as well. After 2.5 years my cell phone is on its last leg…. RIP oh purple Blackberry, I will miss you. I gave in and went to the Verizon store on the 29th thinking I would get an after Christmas sale HA HA no not only not but most of the newer phones are on back order. So after I decided on the most current phone that still has an actual keypad now I wait for two-day delivery but due to the holiday it may come tomorrow or Wednesday…. meanwhile my sweet blackberry is only holding about a 30 minute charge and thats if I don’t text or call or use it in any way. Anyone who knows me, knows that just doesn’t work for me.

So cross your fingers for me and my new Samsung Stratosphere with extend battery for all my 4g needs will hurry up and get here soon. We will see.

 

 

By the Way Happy New Years!!!