not happy

I have been overwhelmed and so tired these past few days. My Nana (Grandma) has been in the hospital for the past five days after only being home for 24 hours from her last hospital visit which was also five days. She is in ICU and very sick. Tonight they are putting A PICC line in, this is by definition and per its acronym, a peripherally inserted central catheter. It is long, slender, small, flexible tube that is inserted into a peripheral vein, typically in the upper arm, and advanced until the catheter tip terminates in a large vein in the chest near the heart to obtain intravenous access. Translation… she isn’t going home anytime soon. She has heart failure, and some other conditions I will not go into but it is so sad to me to see her in this state. Some days she is so bright eyed and like herself I feel like saying “ok let’s get out of here” and then like tonight she was not doing so good and barely looked like the strong matriarch that she is. We have many family members all trying to be with her in her tiny room. I feel so bad for many of the other patients who as I walk down the hall I can’t help but notice have no visitors. But like I said she isn’t herself and we are all very worried about her. She is 87 years old and I just want her to get better. I am the oldest of 7 grandchildren and four great grandchildren. I had her all to myself for seven years. I have really wonderful memories as she took care of me a lot. For many many years her and my grandfather lived above our family business so I spent countless hours with her. I can’t help but be thinking this situation is the reason we moved back home. The just in case anything happens. The should I come home and be with her? This way living in town I have been able to spend many hours with her everyday. And I look forward to when she will be released. Anyway you slice it I am glad I live here and hope she gets better very soon.


This last one is around 1995 pre great grand kids.


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