How to tell your children to leave mom alone with love in your voice

So here I am waiting in line at the store. I look over at the next line and there is a young [key word there young and read between the lines : Childless] girl in the next line reading some magazine and I think to myself “I’m just as hip as her” So I reach for the same magazine as she is reading. There were bright pictures and loads of articles. Articles with titles like: Dress like the Stars, Great Sex in Under an Hour, Shoes you can Dance the night away in and Play the Stock Market; Aggressive is the Key to the Board Room.  Ok as I look down at my daughter with dried ketchup on her face and my son whos shorts are backwards but at least put on by him I slowly place the magazine back in the rack and think “no, no you are not as hip as her”.  

I need articles like: How to dress like you didnt just roll out of bed, sex; fact or fiction, How to sleep with your eyes open, Parenting from your computer Chair, and my personal favorite How to Mother without leaving visible marks.   It is so hard to keep everything and everyone in check. Keeping the children safe, hubby so he doesnt one day decide he wants a divorce, friends who are mothers too thinking you are on the ball without making them feel like you are too on the ball, all while trying to somewhat make yourself happy. Oh yeah lets not forget the cooking, cleaning and bon-bon eating……  Crazymommys Good Housekeeping Tip of the Month:*Always keep several get-well cards on the mantel, so if unexpected guests
arrive they will think you’ve been sick and unable to clean.

*Phyllis Dillers Book of Good Housekeeping

Din Dong… Is that you Matt?

My friend disclosed the fact she watched the entire Brittany Spears interview (Dateline) and I must also confess I too watched it.  This poor girl is all I can say. I feel so bad for her, well as bad a one can feel for a millionaire. I dont know where even to begin.. Her choice in clothes was horrid, her makeup was smudged and the GUM! Didnt someone think it might be a good idea to tell Brit her bra strap was exposed before they rolled tape? I am quit sure she knew Matt was coming over.  

Lets get this straight, I wish I could call her up and let her know we ALL make a million mistakes before our kids are even out of diapers. EVERY Mother does. I think the media needs to lay off! I most certainly would not want a camera (s) following me around all the time (or really any of the time) because let me tell you at one point or the other I have made every mistake there is to make. Those three “oops” the first one with the baby on her lap driving, while I have never done that I have never been rushed by a mob of people all wanting my childs picture. I can only image how scary that is. I know when my children were babies I remember being in far less threading situations but still having a feeling of I must protect my baby at all costs. Maybe a mothers instant isnt always the most PC but I assure you the primal need to protect our young is a very real animal instant. As for the almost fall with babe in her arms, heck when I was preggo with the girl I was walking between two cars and holding the boys hand and I lost my balance and almost fell and when I caught myself with the hand that was holding the boy I proceeded to smack his face into the car. While these  little “oops” might make me and Brittany clumsy mothers it does not make us bad mothers just human mothers on the bumpy motherhood road and they are all part of the learning curve of being a mother. These little beings do not come with any manuals or tech support. I can not image being as isolated as she must be or at least feel. Add that isolation to postpartum and now pregnancy hormones and who wouldnt seem incompetent?  

The interview last night was kind of sad. I just know the media is going to shred her to pieces over it. She was just so sweet and young and just what all new mothers are.  As for her husband, who the heck knows.. I personally think he is a low life but all I know is what the media reports so really who am I to say he is a loser.    

A Place For Everything

removing the clutter...forever