Thur the looking glass….

So the other day I had the pleasure of taking both children to Kiddie Kandids, and yes I said both children. I decided to do both because not only did I have two coupons for free photos but my theory was get it all done in one shot. When JM was an infant I once did Sears, Kiddie Kandids and Picture People all in one day and couldn’t understand why I was getting funny looks from my friends. Now I know why!  

So as I waited our turn, I see three other sessions going on. Very interesting, the first is a mother of an infant, in all the infant sleeping during a photo session glory. Ahh I remember being her. So concerned about capturing just the right sleep expression, so calm, so sure of what she wants. She has no idea……Then I look over to the mom of the, I would say six year old. The child is standing so nice, smiling when told its great and the mom! She is sitting calmly next to her, hands on her lap, looking relaxed. At this point the biggest problem seems to be “over posing”. Then the next doorway is a seemingly teenager and younger infant sibling. The mom is tense as the teenager grumbles and grapes. The mom stays cool, smiles and grits her teeth but with a sign or two coming from all involved they get thru their session. Ok our turn….. My one advantage is Kiddie Kandids has an elevated platform and MD is not too comfortable with heights so she is standing there not too sure. It kind of makes me laugh; here is the most independent 20 month old I have ever seen with her arms outstretched to me! I must admit secretly that part was nice. But then we go on to the 60 minutes of what can only be described as ”
mommy hell”.  An hour filled with peek-a-boos, I’m gonna get your toes and pleeeeeese just smile one time. In the end I got my smiles and poses but the photographer and I both really worked for them. By the time we are done, we were both covered in sweat and a small crowd had gathered to watch us “work” thru that large mall window. I felt like the mother of Dumbo with all the pointing and laughing going on. But as frizzed as I felt it was over! No one got hurt and the young girl who I am sure I have cured of ever wanting children is so sweetly telling me what lovely children I have. I always feel compelled to tip those girls. I usually leave with a sense of I must request that girl next time, but strangely enough I never see the same girls in there again.   

   Ironically there was what looked to be a grandmother just sitting in the waiting area next to an overloaded with “stuff” stroller and she had this look of calm over her face….So maybe there is still hope yet.  

So what I think I have learned from this experience are we as mothers start out naive that these children will do and act like we need and want them too. Then we come to a place where they still are not sure of themselves but know what you are asking of them just isn’t it. Then we arrive to a time where they try just so hard to please us, landing on a firm “I’ll do it. But not without complaining”. To us ending up reflecting and watching our own handle their own and probably secretly enjoying it.  

Does it ever get better?

My heart hurts. I remember on September 11th I was in a classroom at Clark Elementary. Mrs. E. was on break and I was alone with all 31 tiny kindergarten faces staring at me waiting to finish the morning circle time when Mrs. D. whispered in my ear : “smile at the children but the World Trade Centers have fallen and America is under attack the school in going into lock down.” As she left my room and the children started to fidget and talk I just sat there. I have never been to New York so the actual gravity of the situation I did not grasp at that moment. Then the flood of parent panic…. I ended that day with four children…. all the other had been released to their parents. I couldn’t understand why… I had also been in a classroom (preschool) when the Oklahoma City bombing accrued. I remember the sadness but it was just something sad that happened. This was different.

I can’t imagine being on one of those planes. The realization they were not in control and were going to die. I don’t understand these terrorist. How do you take people’s lives away from them? On September 11, 2001 2973 American’s lost their lives. People just like you and me …normal
people. Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents, pregnant women normal people.

The terrorist did something else that day, they took away my security. They took away some of my innocence and they took away my belief that people, all people at their core are good. I once thought that deep down any given person would do the right thing and I was wrong.

have you said it today?

The other day after spending the afternoon at the best babysitter ever (McDonalds play area) I got a nice compliment.  As I am loading the kids in the van an older lady came up to me and tapped my shoulder and said Ive been watching you for an hour and.. I think oh crap what did I do.  ignore them, yell at them, cuss let them eat off the floor??? Surprisingly the lady said she was inspired by me and my children. That she was impressed with our communication with each other and thought it was refreshing to see a young mother so involved with her children. After I closed my mouth I thanked her for her kind words and the fact that she called me young and left. I shared this story with a friend who said it is so true we should tell each other how we are doing. We often comment to one another how a third friend is doing. How we think she is doing a good job or how another one seems to have it so together or how another one always seems to be in the know ect. We as women need to band together to tell each how well we are doing. Too often we spend our time tearing each other down and even more time tearing ourselves down. So do it today call or email or whatever another women in your life to let her know you think she is doing great. I guarantee it she will smile and hopefully pass it on!~      

A Place For Everything

removing the clutter...forever