Home sick

 I like it here. I have some good friends and so do my kids but sometimes I am so homesick. My house and overall this city is nice but it has no history, no past. I watched a show and the main character had a southern accent and it made me think of home. Some people think that accent makes a person sound uneducated but I think there is nothing sexier then a southern gentleman. 

If the cats count we’re outnumbered!

I love being a mother, but sometimes I feel so outnumbered.   I remember a day when I could go to a store browse around, comparison shop, try on and then decide if I want to make a purchase.

I absolutely need a new bra. The girl hasn’t nursed in about 11 months and my only wearable bra is a nursing bra….  Today we went to the store to buy a new improved well fitting nice bra.

Double stroller, that doesn’t really fit down the aisles, both kids with pretzels, some red mystery drinks and off we went. I don’t have high hope here, I just hope to return home with something that resembles an undergarment~ no need to be in my size right???  JM is in a phase where he doesn’t want to stay close to me. He doesn’t wonder off per say but goes just far enough I start calling him in a “I would never lose my kid” tone to have him appear just a few steps away from me out of a clothes rack to say in his most innocent “you crazy mom” voice “here I am”     and the girl just can’t stand to be still for even one moment.

So today I am standing in front of the clearance rack looking for the least painful looking bra as these kids are just barely holding on.  I decide it would be easier to close my eyes and push thru it and just try it on. Returning it would be more trouble, another trip…. are you kidding me? That’s how I ended up with the last bra that I purchased and never wore. 

So I bring the two animals, errr kids to the fitting room. MD is looking under the wall into the next fitting room, just as I remove my top and try to wrangle my two middle aged seventy’s sagging boulders into this new and improved bra Jason starts the pee-pee dance. 

JM: mom I need to pee
Me: Ok just one minute let mom try this on first.
JM: pleese mom
 Me [struggling to get dress without actually trying the bra on]: ok ok
JM: mom my penis is reeeeady
~giggle from the next fitting room from surely a childless and skinny sounding girl
Me[now dressed]: alright let’s find a potty

So here I am again at home with an ill fitting bra 

BTW he held it until we finally found a bathroom so at least that was a success although Sears has almost impossible to find restrooms…..      

no hitting!! Do you need a spank?

So today we went to McDonald’s playarea. My daughter who is 12 mts sat at the table (in the playland) with my friends and I while my 3yrs old son played with his friends in the playland. The children were running around playing. At one point my son hit one of his friends. I spoke to him and made him sit with me for three minutes in a time out. Then he said he was sorry and went back to playing about 30 minutes later the man that had been sitting at the table next to our jumped up and said your son hit mine. We both went over to where the two boys were (his son looked to be about 7ish)

Me: JM did you hit him?
JM: yes
Me: please apologize and come have a time out.
JM: I’m sorry
The Man: He needs more then a time out.
Me shocked: excuse me?
Man: he needs more then a time out.
Me: Good thing that isn’t your choice sweetie!

Then the man leaving his entire mess at his table with no thought as to who would clean it up and just leaves. ** Dear man your wife isn’t here so clean up your mess!!!**

So my thought is he had no right to say this to me. Fine if you want to leave thinking I am a horrible mother, but who is he to tell me how to parent?

What would he want me to do? Spank him?   Oh OK JM no hitting come get a spanking?>??>? 

Plus I took care of it?   I could understand if I sat on my butt and did nothing or just told him to say sorry and no punishment????

Keep in mind JM did not punch this boy it was a tap at best on the arm? The man acted like JM set his kid on fire!

Why am I so upset? I am in tears and the man was the rude one! I don’t even care what people think of me (ok maybe a little) but it just kills me to have anyone not see the sweet loving boy that JM is.   

are you the no voter?

Sometime when we get what we ask for we wonder why we wanted it in the first place? Most often what we asked for causes us more work, heartache and stress. Sometimes it bring us more money, occasionally love and every once and a while happiness. For example anyone who asked for lots of children obviously was swing on a park swing under a blue cloud filled sky. Or when we wish evil things for a mean boss. What happens when those horrible things happen? More work for everyone? Sometimes in certain situations I hold onto anger. If you wrong me [or I think] you wronged me watch out! I may hate you forever. There are many levels of wronging crazy mom: oprah forgets what it’s like to be poor, Reese Witherspoon for having an amazing looking husband, Rachael Ray for being just so “delish”, Nate for having such amazing style I may go on forever. These would be examples of out of your hands wronging. These people A. have no control of their wronging and B. probably wouldn’t care. Then there are more local wronging. Mean girl for example will never EVER get the inside jokes, the no voter will never understand why she IS the no voter and a certain Chihuahua will never again get a Scooby snack. There are some that feel every dog has her day and I suppose I feel a little bad but where was this pup when the big dogs were nipping at mine (and some others) paws? I’ll tell you: cowering in the corner with her tail between her legs…. So now I should feel bad? I guess I should but…. well….. I don’t ok maybe only a tiny little bit but only because someone else does and this someone else seems to always have her wits about her. (something I don’t always have)    

Just for the record I love MD and JM but do at least once a day ask DH who asked for these kids? 

Why one movies is a four hour event in our home.

 During a movie usually in a normal setting quiet is good, even wonderful. But here in our home quiet = trouble. Tonight we were watching Just Like Heaven (obviously it was my turn to pick the movie) and in the playroom Polar Express was blaring so just a peaceful movie night in our home . Every ten minutes or so someone is crying, spilling, needing a drink or food, fighting etc all good things because while ignoring these needs we are also assured no one is choking to death or killing one other or even worse sitting with us.

So the ten mandatory minutes pass and silence…. DH’s turn to check and he calls me to the kitchen. JM is sitting surrounded by Nutter Butters and MD is standing on a chair at the counter hand in the cookie jar. All she can say is “hi”. AHHHH  the teamwork.  

What time is it? Nevermind I can look myself.

Today was one of those wonderful days. Well let’s back track first; Three years ago when we first moved here, I was three months pregnant. A new state brought a new chapter in my life. The Chronicles of the Stay at Home Mommy. In chapter one I decided  the watch was a shackle to the slave I called work. I have always been tied to my watch. In the classroom, we were very scheduled “Bobby sorry you need to line up. No you can not wash your hands. Yes I realize you were in the restroom but it is 10:32 and we are lining up” I was a slave to the watch.When my first baby was born I decided no more. I have successfully been watchfree for three years and eight months. I view that in the same regard as breastfeeding, cloth diapering and co-sleeping. My stand is firm, my point made. With that said I bought the most amazing watch today! My kids and I went to the mall today had valentines pictures taken, lunch with friends, buy mom “the watch” as JM refers to it and a last stop at Gymboree. I got a sort of high from the amazing deal I got on this Dress. A secret sale combine with a coupon and wooo whooo! * and yes I got her the matching socks and hair bows… Hush you know they are cute! Then at the picture place due to the long wait they gave me TWO FREE sheets! I am truly my mother’s daughter. I realize this in the van on the way home as I am belting out Call me Al by Paul Simon and my children are clapping along. Will they remember this day? They were smiling and clapping and I was singing at the top of my lungs. What made this a wonderful day? The fact I finally view my place in life as my kids mother and not a mommy “waiting or needing to go back to work”? The fact I was not in a hurry to get anywhere, but enjoying our lunch date, causally strolling the mall and talking to each other? Or just the realization I am a lot like my own mother and I hope they have wonderful memories like I do.

Sometimse I step outside my box and really look; WOW I have great kids, a loving spouse and everything is so wonderfully average in our lives.  

Plus a $65.00 Fossil watch helps for us materialistic people. 

debit card? No I’m writing a check.

In my life I have always been surrounded by morons. When I was younger it was co-workers. Later it was the lady in line in front of me who doesn’t have a debit card and still writing checks at the grocery store who warrant the eye roll. More recently the morons in my life have been a certain “support” group members. Don’t get me wrong I love said “support” group and what it stands for but as of late this “organization” has really been crumbing around me. From the top “dog” down to the smallest pup. I refuse to believe I am the only one who has a brain in my head. It seems this pack I am running with can’t get anywhere without a phone call. “Hello fellow poodle it’s me I am calling to remind you to LOOK AT YOUR CALENDAR!” Then there is the fact there is a call for a new female alpha every year. We tap dance around the fact no one wants to do it except one sweet puppy but it just happens to be the one that was accused of trying to overthrow the current monarchy. Which I guess was a huge problem since there is so many waiting to step up to their rightful place as leader of this pack….   Then there is the higher up structure of this “support” group. Who I must say is pretty much like going through a second childhood with all the “because I say so” and unrealistic punishments. There are rules to this pack. Now I love rules personally. Without rules we have chaos. I am a huge fan of the rules! Oh you want a stripper and a sex toy consultant at playgroup…. Sorry can’t it’s a rule. You want to toss a few back at the park nope another rule. I don’t make the rules I just enforce them and the rule is because of blah, blah, blah….. Well the problem with this higher pack of pups is the rules change upon whim, time of the month or who knows what maybe which direction ones nipple is face when asked the question.

And forget  asking “well that’s a great rule, why do we do that” well forget it unless you want to be either A. avoided B. receive a sigh that should only be reserved for old cripple ladies or C. told quit if you can’t deal with it.

Great support group right.

Prior to becoming so involved I use to believe the problem was with the stray runts that up and quit for seeming no reason. But now that there is more room at the feeding bowl I realize it’s not the pushing and shoving causing all the fights and throwing up it’s the quality of the puppy chow.

So the moral of this story is Please Spade or Neuter your MOMS because we fight more then cats!   

A Place For Everything

removing the clutter...forever