what is wrong with me?

If I had a penny for every time I asked myself that very question….. I had a perfectly great day. We went to the Museum with a group of friends this morning. Had a great time. The kids ran like crazy but the moms weren’t stressed and we all talked and chatted and just laughed away for two hours. There were even kids my kids age and the fact I am “old” was only brought up once. Then we went to visit my grandmother and my dad was there so that was a nice visit. Then we  came home had a heathy lunch, I got some work calls done and did some work on my moms club event calendar. Very productive afternoon but as the time creeped by my head started banging and by 5pm when J gets home I was ready to toss the towel in and order out and offer him beer to go pick it up which he smiled and happily agreed to do.

Now if I had just listen to my body and got up from the computer at 4pm and cooked dinner, actually all I had to do was heat it up as I already have chicken grilled to eat I would be eating a heathy dinner right now. But instead I am feeling awful and not meeting my goals and no closer to making a baby happen for our family in the process. This baby is supposed to be very important to me. I want this baby, I have one minor and one major obstacle in my way. The major one is unless I lose some weight and bring my sugar levels down this baby just isn’t going to happen. What is wrong with me that even with this in mind I can not make good choices? Do I just magically think all will work itself out? I better than anyone know that is not true. I must make what I want to happen, happen and I must make it happen before it’s too late.

I really need to get it together.



1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. shell
    Jan 04, 2012 @ 20:18:45

    i miss u like crazy


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