Hey even a broken clock is right once a day…..

“your child should be able to predict, with one hundred percent accuracy, what the consequence of their choices will be”

The much disliked by me Dr Phil  

borrrrriiiinnnngggg

So I am bored. My favorite message boards are just …ugh…. my favorite blogs are just …ugh…. even my beloved onlineshopping sites are just …ugh…..have I mentioned I am feeling a bit …ugh…. I have been reading like crazy and yes books not just Star magazine.

What is wrong with me? I have taken on more responsibility within the non-profit organization I belong to but I think I have a deep need for acceptance there. I am thinking about volunteering with another non-profit group. I’m not sure why but I feel compelled to be a part of this place. Considering I am agnostic hopefully religion won’t come up….

I’ve recently been in contact with a person I went to highschool with. We did not know each other well and had different friends. (only one common friend that I know of and he doesn’t even remember me) It has been fun chatting but I realized as of late I am really defined by my children.

Is that bad? (rhetorical question BTW)

 My IRL relationships also revolves around children. My DH almost everything we talk about are our children, my parents mostly just ask about the kids…. So I am conversing with this friend from the past and I am at a loss as to what to talk about. I know I enjoy talking to a person who has no children and speaks of a wondrous land where people actually go on trips, have careers, make choices based on their wants and needs, where the only butt they wiped that day was thier own and the words porn and “pool boy” were relvant and used in the same sentence. 

I love being home with my children but I wonder, am I doing a good job and what will be left of me when it is over? 

The thought of going back to work now or in years to come is not even on my radar that is not where I am going with this, where I am going is am I only defined by my kids? If I had to write a description of myself I’d start with “Crazymom: mother to JM and MD blah, blad, blah…..” That would be great if I was a Martha Stewart type mother. You know baking from scratch and ribbons in my hair but I prefer ordering take out and lucky if I shower daily. I am NOT whining about just “how hard” motherhood is because truly this is the best job I’ve ever had but who am I without it? Plus aside from the cloth diapers and co-sleeping Martha would cringe being in my cobwebbed, unvacuumed home. One of my dearest friends told me the other day that I am the most consistent mom she knows and I suppose I will just have to hold onto that in the “am I screwing them uptoo much” area of my parenting. Of course she also said if she didn’t know me persoanlly my blog doesn’t make any sense…..     

   

On a side note MD locked herself in the bathroom today and just short of the fire department being called I popped the lock… Phew crisis relived!

Oh and if your house is like mine where an hour and a half movie takes about four due to child related interruptions here is the best was to stay on top of the movies. (not safe for children or work)

How long IS four hours anyway?

Tonight we signed the children up for a four hour “kid night out” class at the community center. Another couple who are one of our very best friends signed their children up  as well. So after kisses goodbye and the appropriate instruction and sippy cups have been left, off our foursome went to have a lovely evening of grown up chatter, food, drinks and all things wonderfully adult. So dinner was nice….. then the four of us sat, and sat and sat. Man, four hours is a long time. The women got ice cream and the men spoke of impending draft pick blunders and then more sitting… our group decided a trip to wonder Target would be fun. So there we stroller hand in hand the aisles of Target. WOW we sure are defined by our children.

We return to the zoo like window of the “KNO” classroom at the community center to observe our children just before it was time for class to be over . The children of 20 or so are all gathered on the bright colored carpet singing If you’re happy and you know it. Very sweet. Our little MD sitting front row looking oh so grown up. I am not ready for this. I must keep my baby a little longer.

As the class ended we retrieved our prospective small people in which the teacher (JM’s regular preschool teacher) informed me ” he was “ok” only a few time outs today but he wasn’t horrible”.

So much for well adjusted.

Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.
 
      Allow those women who want t o marry women, marry women.
 
   Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.
 
            In three generations, there will be NO Democrats!!!

                Damn, I love it when a plan comes together!

where is she now?

All is quiet lately here in crazyland. We’ve just been busy with classes and movies and playgroups. All is going good.

It is amazing to me how much my children are different. JM is firmly knotted to my apron string (where I like him) and MD is so independent it hurts sometimes. On Friday after literary chasing her around the community center while JM was in class one of my new girlfriends said “you weren’t kidding when you said she runs off a lot, no wonder you hate the park!” I feel I am making some progress in expanding  my circle of friends. I am making some real connections and it is a wonderful feeling!

I am not sure how working mothers do it. I seem to feel tired all the time and just barely holding it together. Although I have had an extremely productive weekend cleaning the house was not checked off of the “to do” list. I suppose if I were working outside the home full time I would not have the helium hand I currently sport. I do enjoy the different “things” I have committed myself to doing so I am not sure where the happy medium is. I guess I am angling for an extra hour or two during the day but I doubt that is on the priority list for whatever high being is out there.

On a completely unrelated topic my sister is trying to save up some funds to come for a visit. How exciting! She recently started a new job that she seems to enjoy. I wish her and my mother both would come for a visit soon! (hint-hint)

A Place For Everything

removing the clutter...forever