I can not believe over a month has passed without any sort of entry from me. I have thought of many topics to post about over the last month but it seems I can not find the time to post them. I have been reading more (I know I need to update that page of my blog as well). We went back to the beach for another week and I got to spend some time with one of my best friends. That was a nice treat because I don’t get to see her very often.
I have been preparing for my new job which should start sometime next month. It is a teaching/marketing/party selling job at a local indoor bounce business. While it is part time, the three days that MD will be in Pre-k I have mixed feelings about it. This is the first real out of the house job I have had since JM was born. I mean I have work many and I mean many this and that type jobs including babysitting and phone work but this is real. I like the owners and I think I will like the work but I hate to give up my freedom.
I hate letting my baby go off to pre-k but I really do think this is what is best for her. She needs more structure and discipline then I can or have been giving her. I do not look forward to her teenage years! It makes me very distressed actually. I have waited to have a daughter all of my life and now I do and this beautiful perfect four year old being seems to hate me. She lets me know through her words and cold actions almost daily. All I can do when she speaks hateful to me is remind her that her words are like weapons to mommy and that I love her no matter what she does or says. I hate to compare my children but she is so different then JM who would not hurt a fly and if he even though he did is quickly asking how to make amends. MD is just a very strong willed child and maybe that will serve her very well to become a strong women. I just sometimes wish I had a softer girl. She did start cheerleading and is just adorable!!
JM has been going through some medical issues. It has required lots of tests. All have been breaking my heart. He has had a four hour EEG, a three day EEG, an MRI, bloodwork and the next is a full panel allergy workup (about thirty to forty mini shots) and an ENT visit. He has been having some mini seizures and we are looking for the root. The first sign was some small motor ticks and then a larger motor tick. The doctor has been very good and at this moment we aren’t starting any medication. He did prescribe a medication to give to him in the case JM does experience a major seizure. One for me to carry and one for the school nurse to keep on hand. That is very scary for me to think about that happening when I am not with him. Also it seems our Disney days have come to an end as he is no longer allowed on rollercoasters. (or contact sports). I feel like a bad parent in regards to the rollercoasters. There I was letting him ride over and over in a row. The last time we went with my mom a few weeks ago I even told her that JM was ticking a crazy amount. I was so stupid I never put it together. Well there is nothing I can do about that now I guess. I am not looking forward to him going back to school on Monday. The doctor said stress could bring on a seizure and I just hope starting school with a new teacher is not too stressful. I am so thankful we were able to get the special assignment to stay at his school from last year instead of having to change to go to the newly built one we were suppose to go to.
Ok I think that is enough for now. Hopefully it won’t be another month.