the good, the bad and the no control

Well I did get up at 6 am and walked a mile. It was still dark and quiet and I was finished even before the sun came up. I was able to sneak back in the house, take a super fast shower and grab another hour of sleep before the kids got up.  I also walk another mile in the evening with the kids on their scooters. That was nice too! 

 

One would think with that I could keep my eating under control for one freaking day right? Well you’d be wrong…

 

I had a slim fast drink in the AM but at lunch my mommy’s group had a tour at a local pizza joint. It was really cute. The kids got to go in the kitchen and helped make the pizzas as well as see the big ovens and huge (as big as the table surface) mound of pizza dough. With the tour each child got two slices of pizza from a small pizza. My picky eater only ate about half of one slice before turning her nose up at it. I was ok for awhile but the longer our group sat and talked and the children ate and played the slice and half called to me. It stared me down. What I should have done, what I knew I needed to do was toss it in the trash. I could hardly concentrate on what the other moms were saying. I was internally struggling with a) I am not hungry b) there are better food choices if I am. In the end I lost and I ate it. 

 

Then as if that wasn’t bad enough I came home and three hours later when I was hungry again instead of eating a small healthy snack I ate a turkey sandwich with Mayo. The only lining in that is I opened a small bag of chips with the sandwich and had two or three and said “what am I doing” and stopped eating those. I did have a very sensible dinner and I did not snack in the evening at all. So I suppose I need to measure in small successes. Today is a new day. 

 

I didn’t walk today (it was raining) but I already have a plan to do a Biggest Loser DVD and I had oatmeal for breakfast. I have a plan for lunch and dinner so maybe today will be better food wise. 

 

No one can do this for me. 

 

                                             “Things do not change; we change” ~Henry David Thoreau    

Back to reality….

This week has been a lot of fun for the Crazyfamily CD was on vacation and so yep you guessed it off to Disney we ran. We stayed four nights and everyone was ready to return home by the end. We did some things we’d never done before. For some reason we have never explored the World Show Case of Epcot (we normally stick to Future World). So we did that and the children discovered the Norway Viking ride that featured many things, one of which is the story of the Norway Trolls it was very popular with my kids. 

 

 

MD reach another Disney milestone… she is now 40”. That means she is tall enough for some of the “big” rides. Not all of them but enough to make my tummy do flip flops! We have learned our sweet angel is an adrenalin junkie; Test Track was her favorite with Dinosaur and Soarin’ a close second and third.  There will be no stopping her now I’m afraid. This is big considering CD and I like to stick to the kiddy rides… 

 

JM also got chosen for Jedi training which is a 20 minute show where only about 10 kids get picked. Disney runs the show about five times a days. Every time we’ve tried but failed to get picked there have been about 50 kids there also wanting their chance. We got lucky this time!! Plus he was up front so the pictures came out great. At the end of the “training” session the young Padawans get to fight Darth Vader. Very cool and unforgettable! 

 

Then one of the evenings right before the park was closing MD got to spend time with three of the princesses. I guess because the park was about 20 minutes from closing the line was very short and the princesses spent A LOT of time with her (and JM). It was Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella and Belle. The Cinderella was the sweetest, after MD was finished talking her ear off and talking pictures she called JM over and asked for a kiss and he tried to lay one on her lips and got a big laugh from everyone around as she meant a kiss on the cheek. 

 

When we got back on Friday JM went to school and MD had a cooking class. So much fun! The girls running the class did a whole lesson on Humpty Dumpty. They did songs, a matching & measuring activity with shoes and an art project (finger puppet) of Humpty Dumpty. Then the kids made mock eggs and bacon. They took two pretzel sticks (bacon) and placed a tablespoon of melted white chocolate on top (the eggs) and finally stuck two yellow candies for the yokes. Very cute! 

 

As for the last two days no one has changed out of their pajamas in this house yet. No one is looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow but I guess life must continue.

This house is in need of some serious attention and I really want to get to bed early tonight and start walking in the mornings. My dad got me the pepper spray I asked for because I will be walking alone so that excuse is gone. So we will see how that goes.      

date night at home.


CD and I are not known for going out on the town. In fact I can count on one hand how many times we have left our children with a sitter (family included). CD and I do have fun in our own ways. After the children are in bed asleep we sometimes sit on the porch and watch the lake and talk or play cards or play board games. 

 

A few weeks ago I roped us into a barbeque that we needed to bring a dessert to. Now I am not known for my cooking skills but I sure try. So I picked a recipe that seemed easy enough. It only has four ingredients, how hard could it be? I saw that and off to the store I ran. 

 

At about 6pm on a Saturday night, thinking I would have the children help me make said Oreo Truffles we start the process… only upon further investigation this recipe takes about four hours from start to finish. This is past the kids’ bed time but we are already in the process so the kids help me with the first steps. 

 

After the three hours have past, the children are asleep and a few drinks have been enjoyed by both responsible adults the real fun starts. We start working on these truffles. It proved harder then I thought. I don’t know if it was the giggles or the jokes CD was cracking but they came out ugly! 

 

I will say they were yummy! I had the best night that night. It was like a date night at home. I am so thankful I have such a fun, loving, entertaining husband. A man I can say I not only love but I’m in love with. A man who sometimes makes me crazy but more often makes me laugh and sometimes makes me laugh hard enough to pee my pants!   

 

 

I posted the recipe I used if anyone is interested. I hope yours comes out prettier then mine. I will say put the kids to bed, grab your hubby, have a drink (or two) and have an at home date of your own. These little suckers were a lot of fun to make.     

 

Oreo Truffles

 

1 pound of Oreo Cookies – 3 sleeves

1 8 oz cream cheese — room temp

1 pound melting milk chocolate

1/2 pound melting white chocolate

 

Using a food processor, grind cookies to a fine powder.  Using mixer, blend cookie powder and cream cheese until thoroughly mixed. (You can also add the cream cheese to the food processor; there should be no white traces of cream cheese). Chill for 3 hours. 

 

Roll into small balls and place on wax or parchment paper-lined cookie sheet.

Refrigerate for 45 minutes.

 

Line two cookie sheets with wax paper.

In double-boiler, melt milk chocolate.

Dip balls and coat thoroughly.

With slotted tool, lift ball out of chocolate and let excess chocolate drip off.

Place on wax paper lined cookie sheet.

In separate double boiler, melt white chocolate. (I actually used the microwave for this step. Put the white chocolate into a zip lock bag and microwave for 30 seconds at a time until the chocolate is completely melted. Cut a small tip from the corner of the bag and you can pipe the white chocolate onto the truffles).

 

Let cool. If not eating that day, store in airtight container, in refrigerator.

 

 

Shhh don’t tell

Well just after I typed and posted yesterday CD walked in the office and said… I need an N.S.D. which has been the code word in our house for about twelve years “I’m calling in sick” but I’m not really sick. It means pre children we were staying in bed with our PJs on and snuggling up all day. After kids it could mean just about anything.

This NSD we decided to go to Disney for the day. It was very nice and we had a very nice fun family day in spite of what the date was. We even had some rain from Ike. But we bought ponchos and had a great day even a bit wet.

Not only did I not plan any events for the day I forgot the camera and only thought about buying a disposable one half the time.  It really did remind me how important family is. It was a good example of how I need to learn how to better be in the moment instead of trying to capture the moment.

Still a sad day.

Here we are September 11th. I wonder if I will ever be able to face this day without tears streaming down my face. In some aspects it seems like a lifetime ago when the world stopped to watch the news for days on end. I can hardly believe it has been seven years… longer then my children have been alive. Others times it seems so fresh.

 

This is the first year I have faced this date with one of my children not in my care. This is the first time I understand why almost every child in my classroom that day got picked up by their parent. The need to know exactly where their child was that day was more then most could handle and the fear of what was possibly to come was overwhelming for all.

 

 I went to the zoo this past Monday with MD and JM was in school. The zoo is about thirty minutes from his school. I thought about how far away I felt from him all day. It was in the back of my mind all day the “what if” factor. 

 

It seems that crime in my state is going up currently. I’m not sure if it is due to the bad economy why it seems more people who would not have turned to crime before are now leading that life. Whatever the case is it seems like that desperate feel. The desperate wild feel I felt on September 11th. The unpredictable feeling of you never know what a person will do or can do. On September 11th the United States was not ready for the attack. We were not prepared for someone to come into our “home” and hurt us as a whole but they did. This day reminds me of that, I will never know when a finically desperate, religiously motivated or just stupid kid will do or try to do something to my family but will be ready.

 

I know that sounds ominous and really I try to be optimistic but it is so hard to not be suspicious when so many are cunning and possibly have evil in their heart. On the other side how can I live that way and teach my children that? I want them to know there are good people in the world. It is just so hard. And we only get the one time to get it right. Plus I want my children to grow up to be two of the many people who are and does good.

New do

A few months ago I asked CD to hack my hair off. It was fun, freeing and spur of the moment. I can think of three other times in my life that I have had my hair cut short. Once in grade school the school had a break out of hair lice and like most the girls in my class I got them and my mother cut my long hair very short. Then my hair grew again and just after my son was born I cut my waist length hair into a bob, a “Rachael” to be exact. Then my hair grew again to my waist. When my daughter was born I got the itch to cut my hair again and again a shaggy bob I got. Here we are four years later no post baby crazy sleep deprived hormones to blame it on. So as good of a *cough* stylist CD is I needed to go and get my do done. I went and the stylist told me for my round face a bob is not the way to go. She asked what I wanted to do to which I replied “As short as Dorothy Hamel or just a trim whatever just not shaved”. So here it is…….

 

Although I don’t see a bit difference from the bob except a bunch of layers that will need a lot of up keep. I kind of got chills as I was walking away the stylist called “see you in six to eight weeks darling”.  

 

 

oh no are my bunnies showing?

I know it is getting dusty around here. I’ve been reading a lot (I need to update that page here). I’ve also been working a little more plus I just don’t have a lot of inspiration for writing these days.

 

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on what I am doing and my motivations for doing these things. I have been struggling with a question in my mind:

 

When is a person pretending to be something they are not or are they striving to be the person they want to become?

 

Between all my crafting, volunteering and over scheduling; after I strip all that away this is the question I am left with. Yes more often then not I want to do the things I am doing but other times I do them because I want to be able to “do it all” or be a better mother. My friends tease me that I am very organized, overly organized. They all say they are in awe of my color coded/symbol filled calendar but really my mind is chaotic and this is the only way to try to keep us on track. And it is part of my over eating problem, really the butterfly effect. 

 

I want to be more (more of a mother, friend, PTA member, income contributor etc) so I volunteer/over schedule that creates a jammed packed schedule. A jammed packed schedule leads to a chaotic mind with no time to just be. A chaotic mind leads to a short temper or tired body. A short temper or tired body from whatever task that hopefully was completed leads to not wanting to cook or feeling like I deserve a treat. A short temper or tired body leads to eating out or over eating. Eating out or over eating brings guilt that I could not control myself and I mentally beat myself up leading most times to indifference. Indifference ultimately leads to more negative behavior. 

 

So there you go sports fans am I pretending, striving or just plain indifferent? At this point it all means the same thing…. FAT.

 

A Place For Everything

removing the clutter...forever