I really hate watching Oprah yet I find myself doing it almost daily. The most recent was a show that was about women who were over weight. These women had done gastric bypass surgery, got thin and became alcoholics. She said they did so because in getting thin (the surgery) they had not dealt with whatever the painful source of their overeating was and the drinking replaced the eating.
“There is ALWAYS a reason a person is fat having nothing to do with food” she says. Yes I guess I can see that for most but I have searched and searched and all of my problems stem from my being fat, which comes from eating crap.
I was never sexually molested, or raped or abused. I have made my fair share of poor sexual choices but trust me I was fully aware of all of them.I had two loving parents that loved and still love me. A supportive extended family. Etc.
Most my current problems are due to being over weight.
Then I got to thinking, what really classifies as a problem? Am I obsessive? Yes Am I somewhat controlling? Yes Am I emotional? Yes Am I a people pleaser? Yes
I don’t look at these things as a problem but as my personality. I could no sooner change my eye color from blue to brown then to change these things, whether I am fat or thin this is the person I am. Do I work on the things I believe need improving? Yes everyday, all the time in fact. Not because I have some deep dark secret but because as I age I become more mature and grow as a person. So when I am all done with my improving will I just one day eat healthier, exercise and become thin?
I recently had an evening out with friends. One girl attended that it is not a secret that we mutually don’t care for one another. I’m not sure why it just has always been that way. Well the group got into a discussion and by the end of it this girl and I found we had a lot in common and both wondered why we are not better friends. I left that evening with a wonderful feeling, not that this girl and I will become great friends but we found a middle ground. I like middle ground; it’s a place where two people can both be happy giving a little and getting a little. I hope this girl and I can continue to become better friends. ~Again growing as a person…. Having nothing to do with being fat. So Oprah I don’t know about you but I just like cheesecake. (and pizza, fries, cookies, cheese, chips………..)