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The Ring

So my parents were separated about five years ago and did divorce. I have always had a hard time with this fact. Parents are suppose to be married. I think somewhere in my mind I modeled my marriage after theirs and if they got a divorce where does that leave my marriage? I’m not sure if they were good at hiding their problems or if I have very selective memories or alittle of both but I never remember there being any real big problems growing up…. Anyway when they first got separated I was very concerned about my father. I knew my mother is a very social person and would be just fine, but my father I didn’t think had a chance. Well I was wrong. He had a “friend” even before my mom did. This “friend” was a secret for awhile and then he admitted to having a “friend” and after about a year she just was acknowledged as his “girlfriend”.

I have always enjoyed the alpha female spot in my daddy’s life. My mother was his wife and sister is his daughter but I am his favorite. Now this new women in his life wanted that spot. Early on in their relationship we move to AZ so I have not had to deal with this power struggle very often. The times I visit I am sure I toss around my weight just enough that she surely must be thankful I only come once a year. Well for Christmas my dad gave her an engagement ring………………………
Now rationally I want both my parents to be happy. If these other people make them happy I will have to deal with it. I have known in my mind for a long time they will not be getting back together. It also helps I know neither one of them will be having any new children.

I guess this ring to them symbolizes a new beginning but to me it symbolizes an defined ending. An ending to “our” family.

In all fairness it is not these new people in my parents lives. Both of them are nice people it is just the situation.

Today was Christmas

Sometimes this day is hard because we live so from the rest of our family.

This year was so exciting. JM and MD were very excited. Sometimes I worry we are giving them to much. I’ve thought long and hard lately about this and about what I think is important. What I’ve realized I will never stop giving to our children. We will never stop wanting for our children. These children have give us something nothing else has. They are these special beings that complete our family. I will always want their lives to be easier then mine, nicer then mine and more fulfilling then mine. This is a feeling only parents understand. Sure there are times from the outside looking in that our children are spoiled or indulged. But that’s just it an outsider looking in. It is very easy to make assumptions about people that are different then yourself.

Before I had children there was a whole list of “I will never do”
Never TV
Never talking back
Never too many toys
on and on…..

What these children have taught me is a person can criticize all day about ones parenting skills and the way one chooses to live their life but until they live it, they can not know what it is to be a parent until that day occurs. 

Merry Christmas

Today was Christmas. Sometimes this day is hard because we live so from the rest of our family.

This year was so exciting. JM and MD were very excited. Sometimes I worry we are giving them to much. I’ve thought long and hard lately about this and about what I think is important. What I’ve realized I will never stop giving to our children. We will never stop wanting for our children. These children have give us something nothing else has. They are these special beings that complete our family. I will always want their lives to be easier then mine, nicer then mine and more fulfilling then mine. This is a feeling only parents understand. Sure there are times from the outside looking in that our children are spoiled or indulged. But that’s just it an outsider looking in. It is very easy to make assumptions about people that are different then yourself.

Before I had children there was a whole list of “I will never do”
Never TV
Never talking back
Never too many toys
on and on…..

What these children have taught me is a person can criticize all day about ones parenting skills and the way one chooses to live their life but until they live it, they can not know what it is to be a parent until that day occurs.

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