the here and now

There are certain times in a person’s life one can not “see the forest through the trees”. I am famous for that. Like when I had my daughter it was only when she was about a year old did I wonder out loud to my friends “you know I think I might have suffered from post partum depression when MD was born”. Or how leaving the west was financial suicide we may never recover from (but at least we have the love and support of our families here) but we thought it would be just a simple easy move back home. Or all those years of me saying I’m happy being fat as long as I feel good. I don’t care what I look like. I’m so ok with being overweight I will joke about how ok I am with it.



Sometimes it’s a hindsight is 20/20 thing. If only we’d know the market would keep going down when we made the offer on this house or that stock would shoot through the roof right after we sold.


The point of this is I want to take steps to make better choices in the here and now. I want to make them for the correct reason as well.


I made an appointment with a therapist who specializes in compulsive/addictive overeating.


I am very excited to be talking to her and looking forward to what advice she will provide.  

Is it Thursday again already?

Thursday Thirteen


13 reasons I NEED to lose weight


To be able to shop in the Gap and Old Navy or at least buy those brands at a yard sale.

To Feel and look good.

To have my outside match my inside.

To not feel like everyone is looking at me.

To want to have sex.

To want to have sex with the lights on.

To know and enjoy what a “good” sweat is.

To look forward to exercising.

To not have to put anti-perpirant in places other then my armpits.

To not worry about seat belts not fitting or chairs breaking.

To buy matching underwear and panties and actually want someone to see them.     

To not have my children follow me in my fat footsteps.

To live my life not witness my life.

What color are your thumbs?

So JV is taking trips to the farmers market, Vicki is making easy bread, Jenny is constructing compost boxes. WOW everyone is doing so good at this summer challenge! What am I doing you ask?  Well maybe you would first ask what summer challenge am I talking about? Well my cool friend JV over at More Laundry decided this summer she would tackle some things that had been intimidating to her to try in the past. She invited all of her online friends to try it as well. So I decided I would give it a go. That is why the newest links have been added to my blogroll, a lot of us are giving this challenge a go. If you would like to join in leave me a comment and link back to me and JV in your blogroll. Then start challenging yourself! 


Ok then now maybe you would ask what is my first challenge for the summer challenge.   

 Well my first summer challenge was to simply see a sprout. Whatever the opposite of a green thumb is that is what I have, two of them to be exact. It actually makes me very sad because if you gave my grandmother two stones and some dirt in a week or two sure as shit you would find little baby stones popping up all over the place. Just one more skill that did not make it down the gene pool to me (along with her mad sewing skills and the skinny gene…).


Anyway the kids and I went to a free class at Wal-Mart with my MOMS group last week. We planted Morning Glories and beans. The lady said when we were ready we could just plant the sprouts and paper cups all into the ground to grow. We also planted pumpkin seeds, also in a paper cup. She said mid June is the best time to plant a pumpkin so it is rip for Halloween. We also “snipped” some other type of plant I forget the name to have it “root” in a jar of water.  Ok then…..? 


And I am happy to report all our sprouts have sprouted and roots are showing…. Ummmm now what? They are so little, if I put them in the ground I don’t think they will survive. And how do I keep the night critters from eating my beans and worse yet our pumpkins? Mid June is already gone now… 


 The day we were at Wal-Mart I bought a few annuals and a few of that plant we snipped for the kids to put in a hanging planter and a pot and we found out that if keep those outside and don’t water them every single day they will become desperately limp and had we not realized in time I think they would have been history but we watered them and they perked back up and now MD reminds me every morning to water the flowers. 


My mom also gave me some aloe plant to add to our collection. So I would say this is our first summer challenge and it has gone great so far. Hopefully I will still have the same happy news about my lil’ sprouts at the end of the summer.

I was cute at 13 too… heck I was even cute at 23.

I’m really not sure if this video makes me feel good, sad, free or hopeless.

We get one life live it up…

She says “Live today like I wish I would have in the future”. But what does that mean exactly? I think this is a very pretty girl and I respect what she is doing. I at one time thought of myself as a strong, proud, witty fat women but now I’m not so sure. And I don’t know exactly what to do about it.


Oliver Wendell Holmes – “I find the important thing in life is not where we are, but in what direction we are moving.”

Crazy family



Well this picture we are going for the wet rained out look. Are we working it? It is what you get when one combines a early evening summer wedding down South, enough humidity to make you lose a pound a minute and running after two kids who think it is just hilarious to jump in ever puddle in sight.

This is also the look of a photograph of a women who owns a middle of the road digital camera but doesn’t know how to work it (ah I long for you Canon Rebel) and also said women who owns Photoshop but again no clue as to how to run it either to hide the fact that she doesn’t own said Canon Rebel. So here we are in all our red eye, wet hair, and giggly crazy selves’ glory.

Thursday Thirteen

This morning I was cleaning out my favorites list on my computer. I added a bunch of links to my blogroll and I don’t need those links in two places. There are some cool blogs listed go have a look… go on I’ll wait….

















Ok anyway read more later there some good ones! Anyway I was tidying up my favorites links. Like everyone else I have tons of links and they are organized in folders. I have one for the blogs I read because I can not link them all to my site, I have one for message boards I frequent, CD has one with his stuff, JM has one with kid learning sites… you get the point. Then I came across a folder that makes me laugh, it is called “Cool shit I will never do”. There are tons of cool things in there but it makes me kind of sad that I A don’t think I will ever do them and B that I probably will never do them. So I give you








my Thursday Thirteen; things I desperately want to learn,be good or be involved with that I probably never will:


Cook outside my box



Deep House Cleaning

Picture Taking

Sewing more then just a buttom

Opening a business

Buying and selling stocks or investments

building a website from nothing

Running a Marathon (or a half)

An active cause, movement or campaign

Play the Guitar



Maybe one day I will update that list to reflect what I have learned or become good at. We will see. And no JV this is NOT in anyway a summer challange!! I’ll come up with one, I promise.  





What was I going to say?

You know I have had tons of blog posts mentally written over the past couple of years that never made it on my site. I sometimes laugh at my own wittiness in these unpublished posts but I have one flaw in these witty writing moments…. They all occur while I’m behind the wheel in traffic. I have come up with the best topics and make really good points. Sometimes I can darn near write the entire post in my head but by the time I get to my computer screen not only is the post gone I’m lucky if the topic along with title are still floating around in my head. It’s a bit frustrating but I suppose I will have to deal with it.  Maybe I will invest in one of those mini recorders some of the doctors carry. Then I can be witty and look important, no?

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