Thing people don’t tell you

Chronicles of the first time mother of three.

Thing people don’t tell you…. The thing about that is it goes back to the whole levels of remembering… What I mean is as things are happening with this new baby, I am actually surprised and shocked… Like why did I not remember when the professionals break ones water during labor… its not pleasant. Or after baby comes every time you nurse (so far anyway) ones uterus contracts and the pain is horrible… or the bleeding… oh my the bleeding… And now that my milk has come in, which I am so happy about, but the leaking.. I am just constantly dripping…

Thankfully unlike the last baby though no baby blues, just an almost painful feeling of love and happiness. So happy about that Smile

Ok I am sure there will be more “why didn’t I remember that?!?” moments to come…

Chronicles of the first time mother of three

Ok so let me explain the new tag: “Chronicles of the first time mother of three” I sort of felt this way through out my pregnancy but oh my how I really felt it during labor and delivery and with each passing moment with my newborn NP I am feeling it more and more. This feeling of “what am I doing
?” not why did I decide to have another baby but more of a feeling why can’t I remember how to do this…. Even though I have done this not once (JM 11yrs) but twice (MD 9yrs) its as if I have never done this whole “mothering “ thing before.

I use to think when people would say “oh you forget” about the details of labor either were lying about their labor experience or just dumb. I remember both my older children’s births why can’t they?

What I have realized is there are levels of remembering. Level one complete denial and embellishment. Level two remembering enough to tell your birth story and Level three as to say yep it happened and “it really wasn’t that bad”

I think most moms fall into the level two, we think we remember. We think we are telling our birth story and we are… but we have forgotten so many actual details. The main detail I am speaking about is the pain!

With my first baby 11 years ago in my current memory It was the most perfect experience. No drugs, water broke naturally, three pushes and he was out. The birds were singing sun was shining. Pain level was mild but nothing too bad.

With my second baby I decided to get the epidural, leading to in my mind ineffective pushing leading to her getting stuck on the way out resulting in an a broken clavicle bone.
pain was zero but the experience was stressful and scary.

I wanted to get this the third baby experience down as soon as possible as I am sure the forgetting fairy takes a little bit with every nap and rest I sneak in until I will be saying “oh it really wasn’t that bad” to a pregnant friend.

Happy Birthday Tator Tot!

We went into the OB appointment on Tuesday 12/17 to find my blood pressure was 162/92… so yep they sent me into the hospital. I was scheduled to be induce on Thursday 12/19 so they just decided to do it a few days early. I arrived at the hospital at 6:30pm to find I was centimeters dilated with mild irregular contractions. They decided to monitor my BP throughout the night and make some decisions in the morning. At 7am I was still 3cms, it was decided that I would start Pitocin. At 10am I was at 4 cms but the OB wanted to break my water. After set up and start of that I decided to stop them and get the epidural. This was not on my plan. I did not want the epidural but my anxiety level was increasing, even though this is my third baby I was finding it very scary. My nerves were extremely high and after speaking to my hubby and best friend we all decided it was the right choice for me. I was very nervous because I truly believe the epidural with MD was the reason she got stick and had her clavicle broken. The OB and nurses were all aware of that and were wonderful about making sure this did not happen again. So at 10:30am I get the epidural. The Doctor that did that was very nice and explained everything he was doing and it went as well as can be expected. But happened though was my blood pressure dropped far down and fast. Because my body had been running a high BP for the past 48 hours (averaging 160/90) and then for the past month or so averaging about 140/88 the fast drop made me very sick. I was very dizzy, started vomiting and seeing spots. Very unpleasant. The doctor gave me some medicine to stop those things and got me stable after about an hour. At 11:30am they broke my water. Even though I was completely numb there was a tremendous amount of pressure. The doctor even said it would have been very unpleasant if I had not done the epidural. There was a lot of water but it was all clear so that was good. I spent the next five hour in and out of a sleep state. I was comfortable but still somewhat dizzy and sick feeling. I could feel the sensations of the contractions but not in any pain. At 4:30pm we began pushing as I had reached 10 cms. With my husband, mother and sister in the room supporting me after about maybe eight pushes our sweet NP entered this world at 4:59pm. He is perfect.

4:59pm, 6.6 lbs

12/18/2013, 4:59pm, 6.6 lbs

The day was overall a huge success. Our nurse Marisa was amazing. Nurses just do not get the recognition they deserve. She was calm, professional and supportive. She explained every step of the way. She answered all of my questions and comforted me when I was just beside myself with fear and second guessing myself. She was in control of the room and I felt very comfortable with her. She was closely monitoring the level of my epidural to ensure I felt the right amount of sensation to know I was pushing effectively and really listened to me about my concerns and got me what I needed. Our OB was equally as calm and in control. I was very happy with my care for labor and delivery. Everything went as good as it could have and there were no complications.

The Sweet is never as sweet without the sour…..

This weekend I had my final Origami Owl party of the season. (you can still email or message me with orders Smile )
But with my due date fast approaching on the 19th it was time to let others around me help. I was very lucky that at both my shows this weekend I had a team member wanting to shadow me for back up and at the third one when I was just not up to it physically a team member who stepped in and took it over. This company has brought so much joy to our lives. I have met some of the nicest people and now have the honor of working with some of the hardest working and caring people I have ever met too. This company has also brought financial stability to our family. This Christmas has been a cash only Christmas, with some to spare. In fact just this morning my hubby said he was going to swing by a store to get our daughter something he saw online and just like that it was fine, no worrying about do we have the funds for the extra gift.
I know there are other factors in this but what has had the major impact is O2. The other emotion this weekend brought was this sweet, baby will be here in about 10 days or less. It seems like just yesterday we were still hoping and wishing but the time is here. I feel so very lucky to be carrying this life inside of me. I can not wait to see his face and welcome him to this world. It will be one year ago on 12/12 that we lost our last baby. That loss shook me to my core, making me question so many things. I am so very thankful I did not give up. Without that sad, sad loss we would not have sweet baby NP about to make his appearance. I guess the saying the sweet can not be as sweet without the sour. That is so true in this case. This baby is so loved and wanted.
I can’t wait to meet you baby ❤

Ahhh Novemeber NaBloPoMo

Well this is the first year I have not done the post once a day for National Blog Posting Month. With a growing business, growing belly (Hello month 8) and nesting in full swing I just can’t commit. I am trying to give myself permission to do what I can in life and let go of what I can’t. For a control freak this is hard to do. The first thing when dealing with something I am feeling overwhelmed with is to ask myself what my motivation is.

This has worked wonders. I am happy to report I am no longer the PTA president at my kid’s school, I have stepped down from my women’s service group as a board member and have missed two HOA community meetings. It is so freeing!!!

I am free to focus on my kids, not the whole school. Focus on making my direct surroundings better not trying to save the world and Nesting in my home not cleaning up the whole community.

I think my “helium hand” has been cured. Hooray! This is a lesson long time coming. From very early on in my adult life I have had this need to appear “perfect”, to be all things to everyone. With age, experience and time I realize that is just plain stupid. It gets me nowhere but overwhelmed and is actually stressful for those around me.

I am not now, never have been nor will I ever be perfect. Phew that feel good!

Every mom

Oh My Heck this cracks me up!!! So funny and true!

{update on mom 9/30}

So excited to share mom has been released from the hospital today after nine long days!!! She still has a rough recovery road ahead but at least she is home!!! Thank you for everyone love and support.

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries

A Place For Everything

removing the clutter...forever