Two months

At two months this baby has really settled into the family. He now sleeps all night. At about 10:45 we go into the bedroom and change for bed and by 11:30 he is fast asleep and sleeps until about 6-7 in the morning. While he is a fire sign he sure is a water baby! He loves taking baths and showers with mommy. Everyone around us is in love with him. Every time I speak to grandma, grandpa, great grand parents in-laws etc. everyone refers to him as “My Baby”. But I got news…. this baby is MINE! The older kids love helping with him and if I take him to a evening meeting or girls dinner daddy is always waiting by the door to get him. He is so easy to love!
Here he is in Nana’s arms in his favorite spot : In bed in someone’s arms! IMG_1137 (2) Nana sadly has been in and out of the hospital this month. When we went to visit that day she didn’t want to get up or eat or get really do anything. Then when my dad told her I was there with the baby she sparked right up asking for her baby to be brought in the room right away. It make me so happy to see her so happy with him.

One Month Already

Today this perfect little life is one month old. Time is pasting so quick, especially when you are happy. He is just so sweet.nate 1 month He never cries unless there is something wrong. He is sleeping almost all night with only one 3 am feeding and is so cuddly. He loves to held and kissed. I is loving the Moby wrap. He has a clogged tear duct so his right eye is goopy a lot and his cheeks are so red and dry. I’m not sure what to do about either things but they don’t seem to bother him. This month I took him to my Origami Owl company meeting, SOAR> There were about 750 designers there and this baby was perfect. I was hoping for him to meet Bella but she wasn’t there. He did get to meet Bella’s little brother so that was kind of cute.1690683_10202834801181998_648190503_n

What does happiness look like?

Today was the coldest day in my state on record since 2009. Sadly the big kids had to return to school from winter break today and daddy returned to work from “bonding” time with the baby. Today was the first time in 20 days I have been alone with him, the first time my feet no longer are as swollen as balloons and the first time I really realized my schedule will have to change.

Today I had planned to drop the big kids off at school, meet a customer to buy two Origami Owl Lockets, go to my dads to takes some pictures of stuff he wants me to post for sale, take my van in for service and have a networking lunch meeting. With the temperature below freezing what I actually did is drop the big kids off, meet the customer in the school parking lot (another mom) and come back home to snuggle. The baby and I napped, watched a few 80’s movies and I ate about 10 cookies.

I think this is the first time I am really seeing my schedule will have to change with the arrival of this little boy. I think I am ok with that. I could stare in his eyes all day. I am so totally in love with this baby. This is what happiness looks like!
Day 20; first time home alone together.

Chronicles of the first time mother of three

Ok so let me explain the new tag: “Chronicles of the first time mother of three” I sort of felt this way through out my pregnancy but oh my how I really felt it during labor and delivery and with each passing moment with my newborn NP I am feeling it more and more. This feeling of “what am I doing
?” not why did I decide to have another baby but more of a feeling why can’t I remember how to do this…. Even though I have done this not once (JM 11yrs) but twice (MD 9yrs) its as if I have never done this whole “mothering “ thing before.

I use to think when people would say “oh you forget” about the details of labor either were lying about their labor experience or just dumb. I remember both my older children’s births why can’t they?

What I have realized is there are levels of remembering. Level one complete denial and embellishment. Level two remembering enough to tell your birth story and Level three as to say yep it happened and “it really wasn’t that bad”

I think most moms fall into the level two, we think we remember. We think we are telling our birth story and we are… but we have forgotten so many actual details. The main detail I am speaking about is the pain!

With my first baby 11 years ago in my current memory It was the most perfect experience. No drugs, water broke naturally, three pushes and he was out. The birds were singing sun was shining. Pain level was mild but nothing too bad.

With my second baby I decided to get the epidural, leading to in my mind ineffective pushing leading to her getting stuck on the way out resulting in an a broken clavicle bone.
pain was zero but the experience was stressful and scary.

I wanted to get this the third baby experience down as soon as possible as I am sure the forgetting fairy takes a little bit with every nap and rest I sneak in until I will be saying “oh it really wasn’t that bad” to a pregnant friend.

Dream a little dream

When you really think about it being pregnant is really bizarre. I have zero complaints about it. I am probably one of the happiest pregnant person you will every come across. Don’t get me wrong, I have been know to order some wild things from time to time and blame the baby but I don’t do a lot of complaining in general about being pregnant.

When I say bizarre I mean think about it… there is a whole human living inside my body. To make matters a bit laughable (literally) I am carrying this baby very low, so every moment makes me laugh and giggle. I am so ticklish. It quite comical…. I’ll be sitting there and for no reason just start laughing.

One thing I do not care for is the wild dreams. I have always been a vivid dreamer but during pregnancy it gets out of hand. Last night I had a horrible dream about MD. In my dream we were in the past and there was a plague. CD and I were roaming the city looking for MD. She was lost. As if that wasn’t scary enough we looked in an area just for sick kids and found a little girl who was very sick, almost unrecognizable. She looked like MD. I was crying and said lift her shirt and there were her birth marks and I screamed it is her and she is so sick. And just kept screaming until I jerked awake. It was so bad I had to go lay in bed with her for a bit.

She was so sweet, just hugging me saying “its ok momma I’m ok”. But it took awhile for me to go back to sleep. Ahhh I hate nightmares.

More blood tests

Today due to my “advanced maternal age” the doctor wanted me to do a fetal DNA blood test. This test will show most chromosome issues the baby may have. As a bonus We will find out the sex. I struggled with taking this test. I have never worried about this kind of thing. I know I will have the baby no matter what the test shows but I worry about CD. He really has never been on board with wanting another child. He loves me and wants me to be happy therefore another baby we are having but if there are complications….. He views that as reason to terminate this life. The reason I am so concerned is I will never agree to that no matter what and I worry it could cause such a rip it could end our marriage. That thought is so scary and maybe over dramatic but I am concerned. It will be a looong two weeks till we get the results. I did an at home test to determine the se and it says we are having a boy! CD is excited about that. If it is a boy his name will be Nathan Phillip. If the results of the blood test come back as girl her name will be Hope Anne. I’m just hoping for healthy.

is it a bird? A plane? nope its a teddy bear…

We had another Sono today. (no clip this time )
The baby looks more like a teddy bear with a big head and stubby are and leg buds. We are exactly nine weeks today. The infertility doctors have released me and wished us well so now the hunt for an OBGYN starts. I am feeling good not too sick just really tired. But we are oh so happy. We couldn’t hold out and told the kids who are both excited. MD is worried bless her heart. She says she feels guilty for loving this baby even though the other baby died. I talked with her about how it is ok to love both of them but how the other baby just wasn’t meant to be in our family. I think she is ok but I need to keep a close eye on that.

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