Well the rest of the details are as follows:

The following post has a lot of details. If you get grossed out or don’t want to know stop reading but I need to get this out………….

 

 

 

 

Today I have zero pain except my back is still sore (maybe from laying down most of yesterday?) My bleeding is a very light flow with no more clots at all. It actually has been very watery with no clots since about 6pm yesterday. That’s about when my cramps completely were gone. I do think all the tissue came out but we will see at the ultrasound next week. I would guess the whole process from the time I inserted the pills at four am (four of them) yesterday was about a total of 14 hours with the worst being about seven hours in.

I must also say I’m guessing from the finality of the process my grief has gone from intermittent crying and just repeating that I don’t want this to be true and disbelief  to today more of an acceptance and disappointment feeling at what could have been. I am still very sad about the loss of life but now that my physically state matches what I logically understand to be true from the doctor my emotions have seem to have had a chance “catch” up. I really feel like this was the best choice for me. I’m glad I didn’t wait.

I think on some level emotionally I was holding out the tiniest of hope the doctors were wrong and if I did the medication I was taking that tiny irrational hope away. But again the medication was the right choice for me I know not for everyone.

I plan to lay low today and give my body another day of rest but I feel like physically if I had to go to work I could do it. I feel like I can heal and move forward now.

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