What do I gain by holding onto anger? I have no idea but I seem to always do it. I try not to and I think I can logically get over things. But then I see whoever it is and I get filled with adrenaline and then it starts pumping when I see that person and I just can’t let go of what ever it is they did that pissed me off. I met with one of JM’s therapist today she told me JM has a severe problem with rules **shocker** that JM just can’t stand when other people aren’t following them or what he perceives to be not following the rules. He has a thing about fairness or his ideas of fairness. It seems to be a common theme with everyone in my family. I’m not so much a stickler for the rules but I can’t stand if I feel like someone else thinks they’re better then others. I just want the playing field to be level. When that doesn’t happen or I feel like somebody else is looking down their no nose at me or somebody else thinks they’ve gotten one over on me I just can’t get over it. I’m working on it I’m trying to let things go it’s an ongoing process.
Other news my diet is shit but I’m religiously taking my sugar reducing medication and I’ll know in about a month if it works and we possibly to get pregnant again. Everything else seems to be about the same I hate my job we need more money, we never spend enough time with each other but summer is coming. With that a day off during the week (I don’t care if my boss likes it or not) to find kid oriented stuff to do. Why kid anyone…. our summer calendar is already planned but not as full as last summer when I was able to do something every single day with them. I hate how I I know I will say by the end of the summer “where did it go we didn’t get enough done”… At least we have plenty of vacations scheduled. One for each month of the summer, we’re going to the beach as always, then the lake house and lastly back to the cabin in Georgia. The gilrs and I are even squeezing in a nice four day weekend to Hilton Head. (Thanks K!). I’ve never been there and it sounds very posh to me…. as if to say “where you off to?” “oh I’m jetting off to Martha’s Vineyard”. K asures me it is not that glamorous but it sure sounds like it and I know will have a great time. we are all reading 50 Shades of Gray to discuss so that should be fun!
Other related glamorous news MD has decided after I had the honor of being one of the judges in a local beauty pageant she now decided she would like to give it a try. I tried to tell her I’ve been trying to talk her into that since she was about a year old and she would have nothing to do with it. But better late than never and I’m off to find some non glitz all natural pageants for my little MD. One of my bffs is a professional photographer and both her girls grew up doing pageants so I know between her and I we can get this little girl started at least on the small time circuit. Ok so that’s all the news I have for now