The following will be a post from 2006. I am 1/2 hour away from 11/19 deadline to post with nothing inspiring to say. As I looked through my blog this post caught my eye and I decided I am still waiting but have come so very far. I realize I have grown so much from this girl and I do take more time now with the kids. Don’t get me wrong, I am still way over committed but I see just how fleeting time can be and try to make the most of it.
So from 2006:
As a child my first memory of waiting was second grade. I had the chicken pox. I spent what seemed like a year at home. It was closer to a week. I spent that week on the couch watching Pinwheel and playing Atari and waiting to return to school. It was a great week and I only came out with one scar on my eyebrow. This is just the first of many times I was waiting on “something” to happen.Thinking back on life I realize life is just that, a waiting game. Waiting for my sister to be born, waiting to be out of highschool, waiting to get married, waiting to start a family. Then you have age milestones: I couldn’t wait to be twelve. I thought that was just the best age to be. Not a teenager but not a child. (or at least I thought) Then I couldn’t wait to be sixteen. I would be allowed to go on a date and drive. Then of you know twenty one was the age to be. All of these milestones and events are accompanied by the thought “If only this would happen and life would be perfect”
I think this is funny because without fail there is always something new to “wait” on to be perfect. I am notorious for making lists. To do list, money list and life lists.
These lists are normal stuff like: Get married, buy a house, have babies etc.
I did these things. Our engagement was perfect, one year. Plenty of planning time A.k.A. waiting. The wedding was perfect and the honeymoon was great but then that leads into waiting to get pregnant. This had it’s set backs and two years later, surgery and PLENTY of waiting I became pregnant. Then the waiting for the birth and all that brings. Will he be heathy, will he have all his fingers/toes and will it hurt???? Now with babies you have a whole new set of waiting. Sleep, smile, teeth, words, steps on and on! Then with baby number two it starts all over again with the added sibling aspect.
I started thinking about this waiting game as JM nears the start of school and what is to be done about it. (he’s days away from his fourth birthday) I decided it’s not too early to worry about this.
The waiting game is kinda scary. Sure I personally have lots to wait for when I think about my kids are still basically babies. But then I started thinking about are we (all living things) just waiting for you know the comet to strike the earth and kill us all with a dark cold winter. ~like what killed the dinosaurs or for our computers finally decide they have had enough and kill off human being or make us their slaves. And then there is always the thought of Aliens coming to take over. And for you Christians out there we must not forget the impending Judgment Day.
So really the day it all goes black really what was all this waiting really for?
One of my most favorite movies is The Time Machine I like both the original and the remake. It’s very interesting that in X number of years even our most outstanding and influential people will be forgotten. Will they have talking rings or old billboards maybe a hologram to show them who I or my family were? Probably not. I envy people who believe in heaven or reincarnation. I would love to know what happens at the end of this big waiting game or see long past loved ones. Sadly I don’t believe this will happen. I think when our personal waiting game is over, it is over.
So my questions is why am I waiting so impatiently waiting? Why rush to do the “to do” list? Yesterday JM wanted me to play castles with him and I told him I was busy working on something and to just “go play”. I regret that and the second that boy wakes up today I will have the horses and knight and king all set up for the best session of castles he’s ever played. I won’t be waiting on anything!