Today a very close friend of mine, perhaps one of the few people who really know me told me she thought I might be a bit off lately. My blog posts have been odd, my recent communication has been less then normal and my daily activity with others has decreased. Other then the communication with her which I need to have and miss (it seems to be a victim of poor timing) the truth is I think I am trying desperately to be off on all other aspects. With this food addiction I am trying to be less indifferent and focus on what really matters.
I cleaned my house today from top to bottom and don’t get me wrong it feels good no great to have a clean house but this is the first time it has been cleaned (I mean more then a spot mop and a quick sweep) in months. And I was always stressed out by that but not now. Not if it means spending time doing something worthy of my time. I think in the past I have felt a certain responsibility to all around me and another truth is other then my children, folks can do fine all on their own without me. That is a freeing revelation. I am not responsible for everyone’s happiness. Talk about a light bulb moment.
So if you come to my house and you stick to the floor I’m sorry or if I haven’t offered to host a playdate I apologize but I have spent the last six years realizing the world goes round and round whether I’m peddling it or not so I should just enjoy the time I have in the moment.
Plus there’s always laundry….