Christmas Rambling

I know the dust bunnies have collected around here again. We had a very magical Disney trip (as if there would be any question!) My sister and I even got along better then normal. Maybe because this is the first trip we’ve taken together since I start my new medication and yes Mr. Cruise that is in addition to my exercising.

The kids even got to waltz with Cinderella and Prince Charming at the Ball!!


Christmas went well too. We went to my in laws home Christmas Eve and the children were well behaved. I had a nice time and everyone was pleasant. I do wish there was less of a tense vibe there. I don’t know how to accomplish that. I don’t know if that will ever happen and I’m not sure why. We came home and placed cookies and the Santa key out!

Anyway the next morning the children even slept until 8am and we opened their gifts and I cooked a very large breakfast and the morning flew by! We had to be at my grandmother’s house by 1pm. That was also a nice time but do to family issues there is a bit of under the surface tension there as well (thankfully having nothing to do with me or my husband or my kids). Plus on top of that I also worry about my grandparent’s heath every time I see them and now I find myself contemplating death and the finality of it more often. That happened recently when I was making my mother’s and sister’s Christmas gift. I made them shadow boxes with quilting squares and photos of my deceased grandmother. She passed away almost eighteen years ago. I still mourn her often and sometimes find I can hardly believe I will never see her again. That she will never know my children and they her. What also bring me to tears is I have forgotten what her voice and more importantly her laugh sounded like. I can understand why so many need religion, why so many need to believe in the afterlife.  I miss her even more during the holidays.


Anyway my mother and sister liked their gifts and the time at their home was good. The extended family there was very warm. The family there other then my sister and mother was my mother’s soon to be husband’s family. I still felt at ease. Maybe because there was less expectation? Maybe because I felt needed by my soon to be step brother (he has two baby’s under two years and the mother has walked out on them). I don’t know but it was nice. 


I hope everyone had a happy, warm and fulfilling Holiday.





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