the good, the bad and the no control

Well I did get up at 6 am and walked a mile. It was still dark and quiet and I was finished even before the sun came up. I was able to sneak back in the house, take a super fast shower and grab another hour of sleep before the kids got up.  I also walk another mile in the evening with the kids on their scooters. That was nice too! 


One would think with that I could keep my eating under control for one freaking day right? Well you’d be wrong…


I had a slim fast drink in the AM but at lunch my mommy’s group had a tour at a local pizza joint. It was really cute. The kids got to go in the kitchen and helped make the pizzas as well as see the big ovens and huge (as big as the table surface) mound of pizza dough. With the tour each child got two slices of pizza from a small pizza. My picky eater only ate about half of one slice before turning her nose up at it. I was ok for awhile but the longer our group sat and talked and the children ate and played the slice and half called to me. It stared me down. What I should have done, what I knew I needed to do was toss it in the trash. I could hardly concentrate on what the other moms were saying. I was internally struggling with a) I am not hungry b) there are better food choices if I am. In the end I lost and I ate it. 


Then as if that wasn’t bad enough I came home and three hours later when I was hungry again instead of eating a small healthy snack I ate a turkey sandwich with Mayo. The only lining in that is I opened a small bag of chips with the sandwich and had two or three and said “what am I doing” and stopped eating those. I did have a very sensible dinner and I did not snack in the evening at all. So I suppose I need to measure in small successes. Today is a new day. 


I didn’t walk today (it was raining) but I already have a plan to do a Biggest Loser DVD and I had oatmeal for breakfast. I have a plan for lunch and dinner so maybe today will be better food wise. 


No one can do this for me. 


                                             “Things do not change; we change” ~Henry David Thoreau    

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