Still a sad day.

Here we are September 11th. I wonder if I will ever be able to face this day without tears streaming down my face. In some aspects it seems like a lifetime ago when the world stopped to watch the news for days on end. I can hardly believe it has been seven years… longer then my children have been alive. Others times it seems so fresh.

 

This is the first year I have faced this date with one of my children not in my care. This is the first time I understand why almost every child in my classroom that day got picked up by their parent. The need to know exactly where their child was that day was more then most could handle and the fear of what was possibly to come was overwhelming for all.

 

 I went to the zoo this past Monday with MD and JM was in school. The zoo is about thirty minutes from his school. I thought about how far away I felt from him all day. It was in the back of my mind all day the “what if” factor. 

 

It seems that crime in my state is going up currently. I’m not sure if it is due to the bad economy why it seems more people who would not have turned to crime before are now leading that life. Whatever the case is it seems like that desperate feel. The desperate wild feel I felt on September 11th. The unpredictable feeling of you never know what a person will do or can do. On September 11th the United States was not ready for the attack. We were not prepared for someone to come into our “home” and hurt us as a whole but they did. This day reminds me of that, I will never know when a finically desperate, religiously motivated or just stupid kid will do or try to do something to my family but will be ready.

 

I know that sounds ominous and really I try to be optimistic but it is so hard to not be suspicious when so many are cunning and possibly have evil in their heart. On the other side how can I live that way and teach my children that? I want them to know there are good people in the world. It is just so hard. And we only get the one time to get it right. Plus I want my children to grow up to be two of the many people who are and does good.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. rita
    Sep 11, 2008 @ 18:36:43

    I feel the same way A. At work when I would schedule people for today I never said 9/11 but Sept 11th.
    And today on one street corner there were people with flags, which brought me to tears. I wish I had seen more & I wish I had had the time to go buy them some water and a snack, and say thank you.
    Madison today made the off hand comment
    “there’s another flag that’s down” I thought for a .10 of a second to tell her why but there’s time enough for her to know what true evil can do.
    Looking at those people with flags made me sad to again think about people wanting to kill me & my family because of where we live. I don’t understand intolerance on such a large scale and it scares me to know there’s no reasoning with them either.
    Same way I was aware & nervous the next time I went to a UU church after the shooting.
    These are hard times we’re raising our children in.

    Reply

  2. elisabeth
    Sep 11, 2008 @ 22:48:42

    Having children changes everything. How you see the world. What scares you. What matters most to you. Having children changes everything.

    Reply

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