So I had a very vivid and disturbing dream last night. I have always been a very active dreamer until the last month. I started taking some medication and one of the side effects is I sleep very soundly. So this dream is one of only about three I’ve had over the last month and is the only one that has been disturbing.
So in the dream I was younger and I was starting a new job, a familiar type of job in a daycare. There were many other young women there. The way that typically goes is all the existing girls are somewhat mean to the new girl in a sort of marking my territory kind of way. And I was thinking I should just deal with it because it is only temporary. As I was leaving the first day, there is a man who starts talking to me and then the next flash I have is running away and the knowledge that my entire family is dead (IRL thankfully all my family members are alive and in good heath). In the dream I was younger so in my dream it is my mother, father, sister etc that is in my mind and my husband and children do not exist yet.
So I am running and it seems like I am getting younger and younger as I run. I find a truck that has the keys inside and I sit behind the driver’s seat. I’m a teenager but I don’t start the truck for some reason. I finger the keychain, it is a leather oval shaped and has a leather stamped design on it (but I can’t recall the design now).
Then I get out of the truck and run to another daycare (it appears to be the daycare that was my first teaching job at sixteen). So I enter the building and I see my old boss, Alice although I don’t acknowledge her as my old boss but I do call her by name. I am crying asking her to call my mother. I see she feels sorry for me, but it is strange almost as if she knows my family is dead and I am having some sort of episode because I’ve asked her to call a dead person. All of a sudden the man shows up and I grab a knife from the kitchen and he laughs at me. He says he likes to be cut, so I stab at him. I do knick him several times and he continues to laugh. The feeling of the knife cutting his skins is a repulsive feeling and I am hysterical. I’m not sure if I am more hysterical over the cutting feeling or the fact I can not seem to get away or hurt this man. Then Alice reappears. She wants the man to fill out paperwork so she can release me to him. While he is distracted I run, out into the yard which is surrounded by a very tall fence. I start to climb the fence just as I reach the top the man grabs me and is still laughing. I am crying and trying to scream for help but no one is listening. Outside of the fence is a sort of running/jogging trail. There are many runners on the trails who watch as they pass and as I try to cry out for help they look but keep going. The dream ends with the man laughing and dragging me away from the fence and me reaching out to the runners who just keep going. And I have the thoughts of do they not hear me or not want to help me.