30 days :: 07

30 days :: 07
Originally uploaded by mommywindow.

Here we are at the park for a playgroup. For the record I hate the park but none the less we were there for three hours today. It really is bittersweet for me. I have such internal struggle these days. I am getting to know some new friends but I have guilt. I feel like I am cheating on my friends who we left out west. I know those girls want me to be happy, I want them to make new friends and be happy too but part of me feels like I can not fully become these new girls friend without “leaving” my old friends in my past. And while there are girls out west that I most likely will never speak to again and there may be some that I will try to keep in contact with but my Good friends, not limited to but including most GTFs I will be friends with for a very long time to come. Even if that means we don’t see each other, we will remain friends no matter how many new friends we all make. So I should stop feeling guilty, stop holding back and be myself fully. I need to embrace that I like these new girls and they like me. Of course it is not the same as my friends out west, but that’s ok. Those girls got me through the “why is the baby not sleeping?”, “why won’t they stop fighting?” and “I just know my child has the West Nile virus!”** 

These new girls will get me through the first day of school, losing the first tooth and maybe their first love. 

That doesn’t mean my old friends mean any less to me but who said it did? I need to let go…..  

  **as it turns out no one had the West Nile virus, yep I’m just that kind of special crazy**  

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