I clearly need help…..

Man I tell you when I fall off the wagon I fall so far I can’t even see the road!


Yesterday was another good day. I walked and did an exercise DVD. I was at 950 calories even after eating breakfast, lunch, dinner and two snacks. I was all set. I had a plan for the evening. One 140 calorie cereal bar. They have the right mix of carb and sweet. I would be fine…. Then we started watching a movie and the internal struggle began. I wanted popcorn… NO I don’t need any…. But I want it…. But I’m hungry…. You’re not just you think you are…. And then my loving crazydad said go ahead it’s the holidays and as if that were a golden ticket I made my popcorn. After eating it I felt so crappy about my wasted day, and completely losing control I ate a piece of chocolate cake just for good measure. 

 Will I even have control? Do I want to die someday soon because I can’t live without popcorn? What is wrong with me?     

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lucy
    Dec 23, 2007 @ 14:33:05

    Hey girl…instead of looking like the morning and day was all for nothing… think of you not just trying to lose weight, but changing your lifestyle…to include healthy eating and exercise habits.
    YOu did that GIRL! You accomplished that! As you begin to train not only your body but your brain, it will get easier to choose ‘not’ to do something. You will feel more confident as your shift of ‘having to walk’ changes to ‘wanting’ or actually ‘needing’ to walk attitude.
    Don’t be so hard on yourself, it will be easier to reward that guilt to feel better with things such as the chocolate cake. Your brain knows that and it sets you up. You know I love you, so give your self some slack…


  2. mommywindow
    Dec 23, 2007 @ 14:53:59

    ((hugs))) Thanks


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