When the boy was two years old during my pregnancy with the girl, my MOMS Club had a deal with a local gym. We went once a month to one of their classes and had the luxury of putting our children in their childcare facility. That was very nice and I enjoyed the class but most of all I looked forward to the shower in the locker room after. Not because I like being in a small stall that has seen more ass then a movie house or the low quality free shampoo they offered or walking in or out with other women. No, none of those reasons. The reason I looked forward to this gym shower every month was it was the only shower during that month I was able to not only take alone but uninterrupted. I was able to wash my hair, my body, shave my legs and just relax all by myself!
I have missed that gym shower since the deal is long over. A point punctuated with the fifteen questions I just get upon entering my shower every night. This evening it is like they have “mommydar” something like “gaydar” but different.
I go in shut the door… forgetting to lock it. I remove my clothing and before I can even turn the water on my daughter, who may just be just qualify for the Guiness Book of World Record for the world’s smallest bladder, walks in….
MD: Mommy I have to pee
ME: ok go ahead…. But don’t flush
I then step in the shower and then I hear knock, knock
JM: mommy my hands are sticky,I need to wash my hands
ME: ok go ahead
JM: Mommy there is pee in the toilet
ME are you done?
Back to showering…
CD: hon are you finish with the paper?
ME: Ummm yea I guess
CD: ok I’m taking the recycling out then
ME: ok go ahead
Me trying to finish with my shower…
JM: mom MD won’t share…
MD: mom JM is being mean…
ME: where is your daddy? Go find him please…
Giving up on my shower and now drying off
CD: why are the kids in the backyard?
ME: I guess looking for you? I’m in the bathroom….
Oh how I long for my once a month shall in the gym…. Ten minutes all to myself….