We have been away from our family (in another state) since before the kids were born. So I am finding it somewhat difficult to balance everything. For example today we went to my grandmother’s home along with many extended family members. Everything is going ok until my four year old decided to climb on a small statue of a tiger. The statue is a tiger in the sit/laying poison the way cats sit and is bigger then him. Well it is about 30 years old and my son fell knocking it over and smashing the tiger’s face in the ground breaking the nose. After making sure he wasn’t hurt, I got upset and smacked him on the back of the head. I then took him into the bathroom really to escape everyone’s eyes and to talk to him. He was hysterical and wouldn’t talk to me. We were both upset and both embarrassed. We came out of the bathroom, I had him apologies to both his grandparents who both insisted it was not a big deal, but what really could they say? Then we left. I’m sure they are all sitting around talking about how out of control my kids are and how I am a horrible mother.
When I was younger my Aunt and Uncle’s boys were a bit wild and I remember every time they would leave my parents and grandparents sitting around just going on and on about their bad behavior and how they needed good spanking….
JM finally calmed down on the drive home saying it was an accident and I calmly explained I understood that it was an accident but he should have known better then to have climbed on top of the tiger to begin with.
I am in tears now. I know he feels bad and I feel bad for how I handled the situation. I wish I would not have hit him in front of everyone (or at all) even though it was just a swat but it was more then was needed. I am so sad when stuff like this happens. On one hand I don’t want my family to think my sweet loving child is wild or “bad” so I try to handle incidents as best I can but I find myself being more harsh then I normally would be because of this. I don’t want anyone to think I will let my child go around breaking other people’s belongings or being naughty. I just feel so crappy …. I feel like a bad mother. I feel like I am failing my children. This after yesterday my father and his girlfriend making comments about my children running and screaming in the house. Saying I must give them too much sugar to make them act so wild. They are two and four years old and completely out of their element. They are use to really full schedules of playgroups and classes and sports. Not being cooped up all day everyday in a very small space being asked to be quiet all day. We go out and do things but NO WHERE near what we are use to. This will all change when we move into our own house but who knows when that will happen.