Well after what can only be described as one of the worst days of my life yesterday, today was the polar opposite.
Many things have occurred to make this possible, starting with crazydad said I am no longer allowed to work 30 hours a week (even if it is from home) that is far to many to handle. Second I decided today is a focus only on the kids day; no computer until dad returned home from work, no working, no phone calls, no paying of bills, no housework but to focus 100% solely on the children and their needs. That is exactly what I did and we had an amazing outstanding day.
We started with cuddles and hugs when they woke up, and then we ate breakfast and we all watched The Wonder Pets, then off to the pool for two hours, a yummy lunch, off to Wal-Mart to retrieve two clearance toys, back home to do some fun workbook pages and then rounded out our day with playing with said Wal-Mart toys. By the time dad walked in everyone was giggles and happiness.
Today I had a lot of time to think. I thought about the kind of mother I strive to be. What it is I want to teach my children? What I want my children to remember from these years. I realized something very important today; motherhood is a fulltime job and requires work, focus and attention. I think I had being a SAHM confused with just not working. My husband’s job while at times more stressful and more demanding and not always leaving him with the “warm fuzzies” requires no more attention then my job as primary caregiver. Just because my job as SAHM is fulfilling and most days ending in that “warm Fuzzy” feeling I need to give this job 100% of my attention. I was for some reason under the impression I could do two jobs that require 100% of my attention at the same time and that is just not possible.
I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted now that I have come to this realization. So what if our bank account may be in morning, my children have smiled and laughed more today than any other single day I can remember.