Damn you Kurt

Waiting for something to happen but not sure what best describes so many feelings I have swirling around in my mind and heart. Who I am now, the girl I once was and the woman I have yet to become. How extremely happy and content I can be at one moment and the next feel wanting and not quite sure why on any level? What dream am I wanting to chase? I really don’t understand myself at times. I remember when Kurt killed himself I cried for days…. Cried for a man I never meet? This soul who seemed so misunderstood and unhappy yet he had a beautiful daughter, money, a fucked up devoted wife, he could play guitar so unbelievably well and could write my goodness could he write yet he was unhappy? Sad, did drugs and so extremely self-destructive….? I feel like that sometimes…. extremely self-destructive. Having everything I ever wanted yet it’s not enough? But why?

  

Am I one of those people that just stands on the escalator? Really though I am not alone in this life. I share what I have and who I am with those I love. All this pissing and moaning, desire to be more I’m not sure where I am going with it or why….And for God Sake Kurt, give Francis the cookie!  

Nowhere summed up better then here………………. I ain’t changed but I know I ain’t the same…….. 

    

owww weeee I sure need to get out of whatever funk I’m currently finding myself in. Maybe I just need me some hot monkey love sex!

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A Place For Everything

removing the clutter...forever

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