This and that.

I just finished the book Pirates by Linda Lael Miller. I would not have picked this book out myself but I am in a book club and so I read it. It was about a women in the 1990’s who is just divorced and lost her job. She is depress and decided to go on one of those “free” vacations. You know the kind where you must sit thru a sales pitch first. So she goes to this remote island that had once belonged to a pirate. So as she is in the hotel (an old castle) she goes in the elevator and when she steps off she is in the 1700’s and meets, falls in love and gets pregnant by said pirate. I did end up liking this book. And they did live happily ever after. I do love time travel books so I think that is what saved this hopelessly romantic book in my eyes. I’m not sure if I would recommend it and I know it should not take the two months my book club allotted for it. 

   On another topic am getting worried about my 4yrs old son. He has always been a very verbal child, a very empathic and sensitive child. There have been two boys his age that I am friends with the mother that have not always been nice to him. Meaning in most cases if  these boys (at different times) see JM wants a certain toy they will withhold it from him, not necessarily take it away from him but hold onto it as they play with other toys and my child will say things like “please can I have a turn” etc. Usually I will step in or the boy’s mother will but sometimes it goes unnoticed. I have always written these incidents off as growing up and plus both boys in question have one or more older siblings and my JM doesn’t so I just thought that was the reason. Well yesterday we went to a playgroup and the same thing happened with a new boy. This boy also has older siblings but normally a quiet and nice boy. These boys are not taking the toy away but withholding it. Now I try to explain to my child that these boys only do it to get a rise out of him and if he says he is not interested in that toy and walks away the toy will lose its appeal and then my son can get it later. He understands this and will do as I instruct but he fights with his less mature side that really does still actually want the toy. Here is my dilemma I want to teach him that we don’t always get what we want, and sometimes we have to walk away. But my husband says I am raising him to be a push over and setting him up to be bullied. I have always disagreed with him but I am seeing a pattern with this and it is happening with different boys. It hurts my heart to see my son getting bullied and it is happening in a sneaky way because if I am in the room it doesn’t happen but where is the line and how do I teach him to take what he wants but keep the polite sweet innocents? I want him to be independent but not to the point it is harming him. I think I am doing a good job with him as by comparison he doesn’t tattle like other child his age or even older then him. He is a problem solve better then most but I don’t understand why this same situation is coming up time after time. The other mothers don’t seem to notice but then again it isn’t happening to any other of the children. I don’t know what to do.    

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