If only…….

Do you ever feel like you are caught in a vicious cycle? I sure do and the walls are closing in. It seems these days I have a bad case of the “if onlys”

If only we had $10,000.00

If only I could lose 20 pounds

If only there were extra hours in the day

If only I lived closer to my family 

And so on….. There smaller if onlys too. Those are somewhat obtainable. If only I could stretch the food this week and not go grocery shopping we would be ok. Or if only I don’t have to cook tonight I might not murder anyone. Those work but then what? There is always another if only to take it’s place. It does seem to me 99.9% of my if onlys revolve around my weight or money. This in itself is a laughable cycle. I get stressed about money so I eat more usually ordering out and not cooking so we spend money on the food. We always seem just on the verge of everything being ok…. But we live right on the pay check to pay check scale every month. I don’t understand… My DH has a great job, I have two part time jobs and I try to be as thrifty as possible. I go to yard sales, clip coupons, sell on Ebay, shop consignment… maybe I am not as realistic I think? I just wish I could go to the grocery store buy what we as a family need and want whip out my debit card and not nervously smile as the debit machine takes as  few extra seconds all the while I am thinking “O gracious is this the time I have to put food back?”……..    

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Mit_Moi
    Nov 10, 2006 @ 05:37:43

    ->-> Fellow NaBloPMo writer. I saw, I clicked, I read.


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