Cnn or Porn?

I had dinner with some of my best girlfriends last night. We do this about every couple of months and it is always so nice. This group of girls are my oldest
mommy friends, they have seem me in the first baby bliss, held my hand during the one child picnic, laughed at me during my delusional preggo with number two times and gave me knowing looks when I swore I wasn’t even a little tired infant with a toddler stage. They had another good chuckle at me last night when I declared I think I had a case of postpartum depression when my daughter was born. A fact I have only recently come to terms with in the past month or so and the girl will be two in two weeks. I just couldn’t see it before. It was one of those things I just had my rose colored glasses on for. Defining moments should have been times like when I locked myself in the bathroom telling my friend on the phone I was sure I had made a mistake in this whole wanting a second baby thing or when I couldn’t understand why the wet wipes were making her backside bleed (a good friend dropped off some infant wet wipes to me which that never even occurred to me). I remember watching CNN in the wee hours of the night, and for those of you who don’t know those stories loop and at certain hours of the night the loop isn’t very big, just drawing attention to just how long one has been blankly starting at the screen because let’s face it what are your choices when the baby will only sleep in your arms in a sitting up position at 4am? Paid programming, porn and CNN. But last night they all assured me they went thru the same type of things and feelings. We also discussed how insensitive our husbands can be at times. There must be something in the water because my little group all seem to be going thru something. We all have our own levels but really it is kind of the same. That was a good talk and I walked away feeling very hopeful where as before I felt like my DH and I were completely alone in uncharted waters. I came home later then I should have and felt really guilty about it but I need these talks one came only get from peers who are traveling the same road. And while we did not solve world hunger or the national debit we did comfort each other and listen to each other and sometimes that is all it takes to push over a hurdle.  

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