So I am bored. My favorite message boards are just …ugh…. my favorite blogs are just …ugh…. even my beloved onlineshopping sites are just …ugh…..have I mentioned I am feeling a bit …ugh…. I have been reading like crazy and yes books not just Star magazine.

What is wrong with me? I have taken on more responsibility within the non-profit organization I belong to but I think I have a deep need for acceptance there. I am thinking about volunteering with another non-profit group. I’m not sure why but I feel compelled to be a part of this place. Considering I am agnostic hopefully religion won’t come up….

I’ve recently been in contact with a person I went to highschool with. We did not know each other well and had different friends. (only one common friend that I know of and he doesn’t even remember me) It has been fun chatting but I realized as of late I am really defined by my children.

Is that bad? (rhetorical question BTW)

 My IRL relationships also revolves around children. My DH almost everything we talk about are our children, my parents mostly just ask about the kids…. So I am conversing with this friend from the past and I am at a loss as to what to talk about. I know I enjoy talking to a person who has no children and speaks of a wondrous land where people actually go on trips, have careers, make choices based on their wants and needs, where the only butt they wiped that day was thier own and the words porn and “pool boy” were relvant and used in the same sentence. 

I love being home with my children but I wonder, am I doing a good job and what will be left of me when it is over? 

The thought of going back to work now or in years to come is not even on my radar that is not where I am going with this, where I am going is am I only defined by my kids? If I had to write a description of myself I’d start with “Crazymom: mother to JM and MD blah, blad, blah…..” That would be great if I was a Martha Stewart type mother. You know baking from scratch and ribbons in my hair but I prefer ordering take out and lucky if I shower daily. I am NOT whining about just “how hard” motherhood is because truly this is the best job I’ve ever had but who am I without it? Plus aside from the cloth diapers and co-sleeping Martha would cringe being in my cobwebbed, unvacuumed home. One of my dearest friends told me the other day that I am the most consistent mom she knows and I suppose I will just have to hold onto that in the “am I screwing them uptoo much” area of my parenting. Of course she also said if she didn’t know me persoanlly my blog doesn’t make any sense…..     


On a side note MD locked herself in the bathroom today and just short of the fire department being called I popped the lock… Phew crisis relived!

Oh and if your house is like mine where an hour and a half movie takes about four due to child related interruptions here is the best was to stay on top of the movies. (not safe for children or work)

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A Place For Everything

removing the clutter...forever

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