I’m a bit sunburnt, slight headache and my feet are killing me… but it is over! I think everyone had a good time. No major issues today. I told my husband to slap me if I even suggest  next year that I will be a major planner for this event again. But I think alll went weel and I even picked up a handmade gift for a Christmas gift for my Mother in Law.

So all in all good. Tomorrow is JM’s bounce birthday party and then in the evening my family is coming over for a joint party for both kids. I have to cook all afternoon tomorrow. It never ends….

Tomorrow is the community Fall Festival. I am so ready for it to be over! So many things have gone wrong today. I should have know it would with it being Friday the 13th. But now this evening everything seems to be working out ok. I am just really ready for it to be over.

Yesterday was MD’s 5^th birthday. I can hardly believe that much time has pasted. FIVE years…. It seems like just yesterday I was swing, swimming and walking one foot on and one foot off the curb to try to induce labor with her. With every year she surprises me and ironically she sounds more and more like me every day. For her many more firsts this year; Pre K,  gymnastics class, soccer and cheerleading. We found some of that are strengths and some not so much. What is most scary is it brought us one year closer to “big” school. Where has the baby of the family gone?

She got her tea party complete with Alice. From the sound track playing to the “eat me” signs in the food the party was perfect! I could not have planned it any better. All the moms loved it and the girls (and two boys) had a blast! The party was just as I envisioned it. I am glad it is behind us though.

Happy Birthday MD I love you baby!

Well I made it through the sorting and distributing of cookie dough!! Thank the maker! I will NOT be volunteering for that job next year! (It did make the school around 6200… )

Everyone is now asleep and I am about to snuggle up with a new book. Yes, yes I know I need to update that section of my blog. Anyway Under the Dome by Stephen King came out today and it is quite the thick book. It may take me the whole month to read. It has been compared to the show Lost so I am excited to get it started. Tomorrow is MD’s birthday so if it is not pouring we will go to Disney World! I hope this storm dies down for her sake because she really wants to go.

 OK That’s all for now I’m off to read.

I am so ready for this sinkin’ Fall Festival and cook dough situation to be over!!! five more days!!! ok off to bed…..

firestation

Originally uploaded by mommywindow.

We are loving Boy Scouts. We do the normal stuff that has been done a million times. Like we went to the FireStation today. But it’s an oldie but a goodie.  The boys learn some first aid and the importants of a fire drill home plan. JM is gaining tons of friends and convenience. I am enjoing being a Den Leader. It is more work then I thought but it is fun.

I do need to learn to sew. I glued his patches on his class A uniform and it looks terrible. So after the birthday parties and the community festival that will have to be my next project.  

My hubby took me to a super yummy dinner at the melting pot and then we went to a friend’s house for a surprise party. We were there longer then I wanted to be but grandma has the babies and I am now in my PJs so I am a happy momma. Ok off to watch the rest of Saturday night live!

So this morning I am surfing around in the blogosphere and I come across this post. This is the first time I have visited this blog but she hooked me. I could have written this post just with slightly different details. I too feel like I am constantly trying to keep up with my own image, a fraud of a woman. A woman who can do it all. A woman who can be in charge of all of fundraising for a school with almost 600 students. A woman who works two part time jobs but still has time to do playgroups and MOMS Club events. A woman who can run her son’s Tiger Den and have them earn as many beads and badges as possible. A woman who can plan any party, tour or event no matter the size. A woman who despite volunteering in each child’s classroom still has time to go to the gym, lunch causally with a friend and squeeze in time for her many hobbies.

The truth of the matter on most days I have so much going on I have to go back into the house from the car at least three or four times because I forgot something and most of the time still find during the day something still was forgotten. I spend so much of my time trying to keep up with myself, life is passing me by. I’m not sure why I do this…. I really want my children to get all they can get out of an experience and the only way to ensure that is to do it myself. But I was once told that instead of doing one thing great, to multitask is to do many things half assed. I can see that….. What is really scary is I think I have become somewhat better at my commitments this year and I still feel so out of control and over my head.

Most of the time I have such an internal struggle. I hear almost everyday from someone just how “together” I am. How they can’t believe all I do and still get it all done. Or how creative I am. On the inside I am screaming FRAUD! I am a fake… I am not together I am just barely holding it together. But those comments are what I live for. The idea that I can do it all. Why can’t I do it all? I should be able to do it all. But I can’t, I try and other things that no one sees suffer…. Like my out of control eating or the piles in my house of papers or junk just below the surface. Something has to change… I need and want something to change.

“Things do not change; we change.” ~Henry David Thoreau